Hello Glitcher!


The Story


The Story


The Story


  • Welcome



    Click the Play button to tune in to an infinitely (or at least indefinitely) regenerating stream . . . The Infinite Glitch cycles randomly through every musical/audio chunk in our database, including the original Devil Glitch recordings, The Major Glitch online extended version, and the ever-growing pile of new submissions.

    Read on for intimate details on the history of this socio-pholosophical endeavor and how you can contribute to what started off as a simple 6-minute pop song and has grown to a 5:31:45 crowd-sourced new age gospel, also known as the "gag that defied its sire".

    Enjoy the project in its original CD length, listen chunk by chunk, stream it as an infinite loop, or access the song's wisdom from The Glitch Oracle. But most importantly, PLEASE check out the "Contribute" page for guidelines and tools so YOU can become a part of "The Infinite Glitch" project.

    - Chris Butler
    (Joke-Taker-Too-Far-Er)

    WHAT?!?!?!

    In 1995, I wrote and recorded a song called The Devil Glitch, which clocked in at 5:03. One day, I'm trading off playing demos with muso pal Nick Berry from Dots Will Echo, and he plays one and I play one and he plays one and then I play him "The Devil Glitch", apologizing sheepishly 'cause the vamp at the end is 12 choruses long and I don't remember if he said it or if I said it or if the caffeine said it but suddenly we're both giggling 'cause the problem with the song isn't that it's too long it's that it's too short! and wow!...wouldn't it be cool to fill up a whole CD with choruses??

    So that's what I did. Three months later I'd written over 550 of them (usually in the early, early morning before the cares of the day shut off the joy valve). I then recorded the whole thing at one sitting with an acoustic guitar (the chords are A Bm D6) to an 114 BPM click track in 20-minute chunks at Harold Dessau Studios in Lower Manhattan, with Scott Anthony engineering (and soon to be drafted as the project's long-time, long-suffering Sys Op). The next step was to pass out 2-3 minute chunks on Alesis ADAT cassettes to people I've worked with and asked them to add their own background accompaniment on synths, spoons, tuned vacuum cleaners...whatever. This was in April of '95, thinking I'd have everything back by May and the whole thing assembled by Memorial Day.

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    Wrong. It took a year to get everything organized, but that's okay 'cause the software to actually glue the thing together wasn't available in '95, and Freedy Johnston took forever to hand in his piece (worth it) and Liam Sternberg (Mr. "Walk Like An Egyptian") from Akron and now France had to do his too and Kramer (who had been the Waitresses original sound man!) had to be goosed to get his bit in (also worth it) and don't get me started about my Mom (never try to produce your Mom).

    Scott stitched the whole thing together using SAW+ (we had become a Beta project for the software!), having to regrettably edit the long version down to allow for the original 5:03 song, since at the time CDs could only hold 74 minutes of audio.


    Then, thanks to the internet - there was NO time limit, so I began the process of expanding the song, making an online version that hopefully would go on for hours and hours. And it did: The Major Glitch.

    The Major Glitch is a sonic "sculpture"
    - a single, seamless recording that includes all the submissions to date, plus the original Intro and Ending sections from the original CD recording.

    Full Length: 5:31:45
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    And now we have The Infinite Glitch which is where you, Dear Reader, come in.

    Please go to the "Contribute" page to find out how YOU can contribute to the project.
    I want this song to contain the sum total of human wisdom (seriously!) and we have. . .a bit of a way to go.

    Contribute

    We want everybody to be able to contribute. Whether or not you:

    1. have access to a recording studio
    2. can play an instrument
    3. can sing
    4. speak english
    5. can read this

    Under the philosophy that anything is entertaining and insightful provided it’s sincere (or at least obviously fun), we’ve got a few options by which you can contribute.

    Guidelines for Submissions:

    • It can be as long or as short as you want.

    • The part that I'd like for you to expand upon is the ending vamp where every lyric line begins "Sometimes you can fix something by...".
      Please remember that a "song" is legally defined in America as having "a melody and lyrics", so please include some variation on the "Sometimes you can fix something by..." lyric line. Thus, instrumental-only submissions will probably not be used. I may add some lyrics to your chunk, but it will be a low, low priority.

    • If you're able to fit your lyric text into the couplet format: "Sometimes you can bla bla bla... Another line of bla bla... blank line... Sometimes, etc", then the Glitch Oracle will be happy.

    • Re: censorship. I reserve the right to edit anything that is submitted. That said, I am not a prude, so rough language is not a turn-off...but neither do I wanna get busted for distributing internet obscenity, so use your head about what you say, okay?

    • Legal stuff: You own your contribution, period - but by submitting it, you are allowing me to use it in this project in perpetuity. If you want to register it with the Library of Congress or any other performance right organization in your country, that is your business. There is a chance that some other media (TV, radio, etc.) might do a news piece on this project and use some of what you've submitted. If this happens, I will do my best to get you a cue sheet so if there is any dough generated, you get it. To that end, you must include some info about yourself, personal web page URL &/or contact info with your submission or it can't be used. You also grant me the right to use this info in the project, but I will not give or sell your info to any third party, so don't get all nutzparanoid about this. Also, you warrant that your submission does not violate the rights of any third party.


    For those who want to create their own track at home or in a studio

    • Submitted audio should be an MP3 or .wav file.

      Preferred: wav file, 44.1 khz, at least 16 bit, 24 bit even better
      OK: mp3, encoded at best resolution possible, at least 192kbps, 320kbps even better

    • The click and acoustic track is there for your convenience, but you are not bound to use this. And please no fade-ins or fade-outs if possible...editing this thing is going to be enough of a pain. A "1-2-3-4" count-in would be helpful, too.

    • You can download the 114 Beats-Per-Minute click track/acoustic guitar file HERE

    • You can submit a track HERE.



    We want everybody to be able to contribute. So even if you don't have the instruments and recording equipment available, here are a couple of tools to allow you to make a track and then submit it:

    Currently In Hibernation
    Definitely a BETA endeavor! Using the microphone in your computer, you'll be able to record yourself singing along with the single glitch instrumental track and upload it, then hear it back with the instrumental, input lyrics and story and submit the track. "Hugh Jeerayke, the engineer" will walk you through the process of recording and submitting a track.
    You will need to Sign Up before you can access this part of the Infinite Glitch.


    Another BETA project we came across, which it seems like has been in limbo for a while, but still works and is really really cool: UJAM offers online software that allows you to record and produce your own song. "All you need to create great-sounding music is an idea. Turn that melody in your head into a song." After you make you track on UJAM you just export it as an MP3 and submit it using our form.

    World Records


    The Devil Glitch
    World's Longest Recorded Pop Song - 69 minutes
    July 11th, 1997,
    Guinness Book of World Records
    declares "The Devil Glitch" to be
    THE WORLD'S LONGEST POP SONG.

    "Then there's ex-Waitress CHRIS BUTLER'S 69-minute (!) single, "The Devil Glitch" (Future Fossil, CD), a screwy swinger with an hour's worth of Butler lyrically vamping on the end chorus as friends, old band mates, and relatives (including Freedy Johnston, Kramer, and Butler's mom) mess with the music. Weird, long-winded, wonderful."

    David Fricke, Rolling Stone Magazine, June 26, 1997, p.56

    THE CAST OF CHARACTERS

    • Chris Butler - words, music, and production
    • Paul Moschella - drums
    • Matt Azzarto, Jim Higgins, Paul Moschella, Chris Gefken - backing vocals
    • Chris Gefken - extra bass snazz on the Long Version
    • Supervising Engineer - Scott Anthony

      Other Musicians/Bands
      in order of appearance

    • Mars Williams
    • The Whatnots
    • Liam Sternberg
    • Fear of Falling
    • The Gefkens
    • Bianca Bob Miller
    • Michael Baker
    • James MacMillan and Freedy Johnston - The Know It All Boyfriends
    • Michael Aylward
    • Harvey Gold
    • Kramer
    • Christopher D. Butler
    • Mrs. Irene Elizabeth Butler (The Artist Formerly Known As Mom)
    • Morgan McNeish
    • The Fluxus Midwest Paper Cup Marching Band
    • Scott Anthony

    SHORT VERSION
    recorded by Scott Anthony at Harold Dessau in NYC and by Chris Gefken at Jackson Hole in Hoboken. mixed by Dave Derr at Studio E in Garfield, NJ

    LONG VERSION
    lead vocals recorded (no loops!) at B Jams, Hoboken, by Scott Anthony and Ben Kilmer. Mixed and assembled starting January 8th and 9th during the Blizzard of '96 by Scott Anthony at Harold Dessau in NYC. Additional transfers and duping by Greg, Steve and Chris at Upstart in Hoboken. Final assembly completed spring '96 at Mutiny Zoo in Hoboken. Mastered by Dave Steele at DBS Digital, Hoboken.




    The Story Behind the One-Minute Version of "The Devil Glitch"

    Morgan Fisher (ex-Mott The Hoople keyboardist) requested a one-minute version of "The Devil Glitch" for inclusion in his second "Miniatures" CD. The 60 or so compositions on this disc come from around the world and all deal in some way with a Millenium theme.

    Morgan never said WHICH Millenium, however. "The Devil Glitch" includes an audio time-travel ending, which is a regression back to 1900 via the entire history of audio recording technology (digital-tape-wire-wax cylinder).



    For a laugh, I sent a copy of the CD to the Guinness Book people, thinking I might have inadvertently set a record. Their response was "Maybe. Yep. Prove it." Guinness required for independent verification, and although I knew it to be a valid claim, getting others to confirm it became a "computer era" question, where information becomes available only if the question is phrased correctly.

    For example, neither the Library of Congress (where American copyrights are registered), BMI and ASCAP (the USA's major performance rights organizations) nor The Harry Fox Agency (collector of mechanical rights) can search their databases for length...only by title and author. Luckily, David Sanjek of the BMI Archives was able to confirm my claim stating that "I know of no other commercial piece of music that received sufficient public distribution that comes close to "The Devil Glitch" in length and scope." William Shurck, the Sound Recordings Archivist at Bowling Green State University's Music Library and Sound Archive, also saw no reason to dispute my claim, based on his "...40-plus years of working with popular music."). Homer's "Illiad" and "Odyssey" were actually "sung". . .but no one is around who remembers how it goes. "Alice's Restaurant"? A mere 19-minutes, and it's as much talking as it is a "song", which is legally defined in America as a "lyric with a melody". I'm sure my record has long been broken, and as far as i know, Guinness has retired the category, but the original project was fun to do, and it's nice to be recognized...even for such a dubious achievement.




    Lyrics
    1402 couplets as of this moment.

    8 couplets contributed by Tyler Zahnke:

    Sometimes you can fix something just by listening to Cher,
    Do you believe in life after love?

    Sometimes you can fix something just by praying to the lord,
    Even you come from above

    Sometimes you can fix something just by talking on the phone,
    To the one that truly understands you

    Sometimes you can fix something just by being alone,
    See where in the world it lands you

    Sometimes you can fix something just by listening to tapes,
    Keep your mind of new stuff like mp3

    Sometimes you can fix something just by forgetting about the Democrats,
    Listen to Rush Limbaugh and vote GOP

    Sometimes you can fix something just by being a geek,
    Edit Wikipedia rhubarb

    Sometimes you can fix something just by putting on a show,
    Like a comedy with Dick Van Dyke

    11 couplets contributed by PATRICK CULLIE:

    Sometimes you can fix something
    With chewing gum and spit.

    Sometimes you can fix something
    By just ignoring it.

    Sometimes you can fix something
    And fix that sucker good.

    Sometimes you can fix something
    But that don’t mean you should.

    Sometimes you can fix something
    Some times you should not.

    Sometimes you can fix something
    With just a simple knot.

    Sometimes you can fix something
    If you have the tool.

    Sometimes you can fix something
    And look the perfect fool.

    Sometimes you can fix something
    With hammer and a nail.

    Sometimes you can fix something
    But sometimes you might fail.

    Sometimes you can fix something
    If you’re that kind of bloke,

    But sometimes you can fix something
    That isn’t really broke.

    6 couplets contributed by Mike iLL:

    Sometimes you can fix something by reducing the problem to an abstracted version of the problem, so you don't get distracted by details

    Sometimes you can fix something by breaking the problem into multiple sub-problems, each far less insurmountable-seeming than the last.

    Sometimes you can fix something by reading a book called The Nature Doctor
    And supporting the disease in doing its healing as opposed to suppressing the symptoms.

    Sometimes you can fix something by using a ton of fucking discipline
    And not using words like fuck in your vocabulary unnecessarily.

    Sometimes you can fix something by giving it attention in the middle of the night when aspects of life like the phone bill are sleeping.

    Sometimes you can fix something by not being afraid of your own power
    Feel that? The universe is offering it for a reason.

    Sometimes you can fix something by just writing a letter
    Whether or not you ever send it.

    Sometimes you can fix something by not racially stereotyping
    Not every Puerto Rican is a Jewish banker with a giant penis

    Sometimes you can fix something by just going to bed
    When the phone bill is starting to wonder if it's time for breakfast.

    12 couplets contributed by General Gary Jackett:

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    by takin' out the trash

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    scratching' that old rash

    Sometimes you can fix something by finding'
    your old stash

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    throwing' a party bash

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    smoking' all your hash

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    burnin' it down to ash

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    avoiding a crash

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    breaking with a smash

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    instigating a clash

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    whipping' with a sash

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    growing' a mustache

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    trying' to make a splash

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    playing' guitar with Slash

    Sometimes you can fix something
    with heavy metal thrash

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    doin' not a thing

    31 couplets contributed by Liam Sternberg:

    sometimes you can fix something by just never growing up
    damn right the world owes you a living

    sometimes you can fix something by just being ashamed
    guilt's a valid motivation

    sometimes you can fix something by just blaming the world
    avoid all introspection

    sometimes you can fix something by just making a choice
    after weighing all your options

    sometimes you can fix something with a mnemonic device
    an aide to memorization

    sometimes you can fix something with just a slap on the wrist
    constructive criticism

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting spanked
    young man, I hope you've learned your lesson

    sometimes you can fix something by just making a stink
    blow things way out of proportion

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting a Mac
    DOS is such a lousy system

    sometimes you can fix something by just moving out
    try a trial separation

    sometimes you can fix something by just trying to hide
    "nobody here but us chickens"

    sometimes you can fix something by just fixin' it in the mix
    tho that is lazy production

    sometimes you can fix something by just screaming "shut up"
    now stop all of this bitchin'

    sometimes you can fix something by just introducing yourself
    make a good first impression

    sometimes you can fix something by just blowing some smoke
    the ancient art of obfuscation

    sometimes you can fix something by just hiring a flack
    improve your public relations

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a crook
    even Nixon got a pardon

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting a shot
    update all your vaccinations

    sometimes you can fix something by just being upbeat
    brimming with enthusiasm

    sometimes you can fix something by just feeling doomed
    sit back and wait for Armageddon

    sometimes you can fix something by just faking your death
    skip out on your obligations

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting a life
    everybody needs a mission

    sometimes you can fix something by just looking it up
    ask your local librarian

    sometimes you can fix something by just looking it up
    let your fingers do the walking

    sometimes you can fix something by listening to NPR
    especially Morning Edition

    sometimes you can fix something by just losing your shirt
    bankruptcy means a new beginning

    sometimes you can fix something by just going to work
    fill out that job application

    sometimes you can fix something by just watching Fox
    The X-Files or The Simpsons

    sometimes you can fix something by just watching The Tick
    the best thing on Saturday morning

    sometimes you can fix something by just writing a note
    give ‘em a good recommendation

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking a look
    learn by careful observation

    32 couplets contributed by SmartBunny:

    sometimes you can fix something by just breaking a plate
    ceramic deconstruction

    sometimes you can fix something by just tempting fate
    are you truly up the junction?

    sometimes you can fix something by just placing a bet
    if the ace is in your pocket

    sometimes you can fix something by just pressing re-set
    is the plug firmly in the socket?

    sometimes you can fix something by just calling a vet
    we'll need a stool sample

    sometimes you can fix something by just vetting a set
    Ooh! I like the pink one.

    sometimes you can fix something by just etching a sketch
    good luck with those diagonals

    sometimes you can fix something by just kvetching a stretch
    quit your stitch and bitching

    sometimes you can fix something by just felting your gelt
    Yo, who's got my sheckels?

    sometimes you can fix something by just gelding yourself
    now where'd I put those pliers?

    sometimes you can fix something by just diving a muff
    tuna predilection

    sometimes you can fix something by just fermenting the duff
    mmm, single malt scotch whiskey

    sometimes you can fix something by just drinking the stuff
    estrogen filled soy latte

    sometimes you can fix something by just thinking of guff
    not another word, young lady!

    sometimes you can fix something by just rounding a curve
    love my cordless router

    sometimes you can fix something by just loving the Pounce
    Meow Mix is for suckers

    sometimes you can fix something by just watching it bounce
    two sports bras could help that

    sometimes you can fix something by just mouthing the count
    confound those pesky numbers

    sometimes you can fix something by just pimping it out
    I like Chelsea's new hairdo

    sometimes you can fix something by just surpressing your doubts
    somatically delicious

    sometimes you can fix something by just airing it out
    visit Dr. Judy

    sometimes you can fix something by just baring your clout
    speak softly, but carry a big stick

    sometimes you can fix something by just limping with gout
    who's the rich man now, Falstaff?

    sometimes you can fix something by just working the pout
    works better for the ladies

    sometimes you can fix something by just pulling a pint
    Guinness counts as food

    sometimes you can fix something by just fudging your lines
    only Shakespeare will notice

    sometimes you can fix something by just kludging your kit
    homebuilts are so nerdy

    sometimes you can fix something by just sleeping a bit
    another forty winks

    sometimes you can fix something by just grabbing your tits
    SO NOT breast obsessed

    sometimes you can fix something by just writing a tune
    Guinness Book of Records

    sometimes you can fix something by just by just wondering what
    and why and who and how

    sometimes you can fix something by just fixing it
    other times it stays broken

    9 couplets contributed by Pamela Beth Grossman:

    Sometimes you can fix something by just leaving it be,
    Accept the imperfections

    Sometimes you can fix something by just setting it free,
    Let it run in all directions

    Sometimes you can fix something by just taking the bridge,
    Dammit, the tunnel's always a mess

    Sometimes you can fix something by just cleaning the fridge,
    What's the smell? Stop trying to guess

    Sometimes you can fix something by just handing out doughnuts,
    Even if it doesn't work you still have doughnuts

    Sometimes you can fix something by just going to yoga,
    And focusing on your breathing

    Sometimes you can fix something by just ceasing to care,
    It never helps to keep feeling

    Sometimes you can fix something by just numbing your gums,
    Especially if you're a baby who's teething

    Sometimes you can fix something by just setting it down,
    It's not your job to fix everything....

    14 couplets contributed by Maiku:

    Sometimes you can fix something by giving it one more try,
    You might just get it right this time

    Sometimes you can fix something by admitting you don't know,
    Lack of intelligence is not a crime

    Sometimes you can fix something by being in the scene,
    Go out there and make some new friends

    Sometimes you can fix something by just apologising,
    Go make some peace and make amends

    Sometimes you can fix something by going out and exploring,
    You never know what you will find

    Sometimes you can fix something by ripping off Jeff Lynne,
    "You got me running, going out of my mind"

    Sometimes you can fix something by Sometimes you can fix something by,
    Sometimes you can fix something by repetition

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting something to eat,
    No need to die from malnutrition

    Sometimes you can fix something by not believing the BS,
    Let them know that you know they are a liar

    Sometimes you can fix something by dissing the haters,
    Rhubarb rhubarb can go die in a fire

    Sometimes you can fix something by a little backmasking,
    Rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb

    Sometimes you can fix something by a little free verse,
    Rhyming that last line is too difficult

    Sometimes you can fix something by practising your moonwalk,
    Pay your homage to the King of Pop

    Sometimes you can fix something by pressing your luck,
    No rhubarb, no rhubarb, STOP!

    12 couplets contributed by The Parkway Charlies:

    Sometimes you can fix something by packing it away
    And take that trunk down to the station

    Sometimes you can fix something by waging a big war
    We need a little conflagration

    Sometimes you can fix something by looking through that glass
    I fell in love with that distortion

    Sometimes you can fix something by switching off the news
    Roll with a little self-absorption

    Sometimes you can fix something by slowing it down
    Quaaludes, 1977

    Sometimes you can fix something by sitting in a pew
    But that is someone else’s heaven

    Sometimes you can fix something by editing yourself
    Go back on all your punctuation

    Sometimes you can fix something by drowning it in wine
    You know I go for that libation

    Sometimes you can fix something by doing it in the road
    Did Paul and Linda really go there?

    Sometimes you can fix something by staying in your bed
    I’d let you down if I had the hair

    Sometimes you can fix something by taking a blue pill
    Who wants a seven-hour erection?

    Sometimes you can fix something by voting from your grave
    Let’s hope they’re throwing that election

    27 couplets contributed by Matt Hickey:

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    choosing a side, the only side

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    acknowledging there's no detente with this connection

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    noting the energy moving in one direction

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    passing the parcel, especially if it's ticking

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    telling me that it's another

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    believing any day can be fantastic

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    being heather-bound in the grass

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    not going so merrily against it

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    meeting the hour when we depart

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    with every single being wilting away

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    watching time run while we wait

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    just leaving it with you

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    figuring out how to make the bear go away

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    looking in the shadows on the shelf

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    solitude which belies in a dream

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    with yesteryear's snow and the green of spring

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    evoking the smell of tobacco and hairspray

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    with the promises of a post-war world

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    turning plastics into telephones

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    greeting men in suits with crystal cut glasses

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    hearing jetliners filtered through the lobby

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    shifting a gaze, and then it's gone

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    illuminating particles in the air

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    a wig demanding the gallery to stand

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    placing oaks in a forest of stone

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    echoing words of law passing into history

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    penning a visual which pales to this tally

    10 couplets contributed by Mike iLL:

    Sometimes ya can fix something by
    Just making a list

    Sometimes ya can fix something by
    Looking at the list

    Sometimes ya can fix something by
    Just ignoring it

    Sometimes ya can fix something by singing everything that's on it
    Preceded by the words, "sometimes you can fix something by".

    Sometimes you can fix somethings by accepting that it's broken
    'Supposed to have your kids making each other scream

    Sometimes ya can fix somethings by
    Just going to school

    Sometimes ya can fix somethings by
    Not having a reason why

    Sometimes ya can fix somethings by
    Just letting them scream

    Sometimes ya can fix somethings by
    Just being a bug

    Sometimes ya can fix somethings by... by... by
    Singin' bye 'n' bye


    17 couplets contributed by Scott Anthony:

    sometimes you can fix something by just tuning in
    you never forget your first doctor

    sometimes you can fix something by going to a police box
    it just might be a tardis

    sometimes you can fix something by calling in a dalek
    prepare for extermination

    sometimes you can fix something by getting an upgrade
    prepare to have no emotions

    sometimes you can fix something by using a dead-lock seal
    it stops a sonic screwdriver

    sometimes you can fix something by using a neural lance
    be sure to change the settings

    sometimes you can fix something by activating the Chameleon Arch
    time to change your race

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking a poll
    which one of you is least important?

    sometimes you can fix something bi-curious by trying it
    it might not be the fit you feared

    sometimes you can fix something by going back and reading the directions
    which you should have done in the first place

    sometimes you can fix something by letting it lie
    problems have a way of solving

    sometimes you can fix something by feeding it pi
    no one likes a hungry apparition

    sometimes you can fix something by asking your friends
    and buying everyone a pizza

    sometimes you can fix something by just ignoring it
    and hoping it goes away

    sometimes you can fix something by turning it off, then turning it on again
    reboot the operation

    sometimes you can fix something by just repeating the past
    don't be afraid to look too stupid

    sometimes you can fix something by just forgetting the past
    because it's all about the future

    2 couplets contributed by Bill Janoff:

    Sometimes you can fix something by just doing nothing
    You just gotta let it go

    Sometimes you can fix something by doing nothing at all
    You just gotta sit back and go with the flow

    8 couplets contributed by Livingston Leo:

    Sometimes you can fix something with a new tube and speakers,
    But some old jams, they're all gone

    Sometimes you can fix something by moving a mountain
    Just get some friends to help you

    Sometimes you can fix something with a simple phone call,
    Just call and say, "I love you"

    Sometimes you can fix something by just knowing someone,
    Just call and say you know Butler

    Sometimes you can fix something by cooking it longer,
    Well done, attaboy!

    Sometimes you can fix something by just whipping it out,
    Them good looks, they don't matter

    Sometimes you can fix something with a soft, gentle kiss,
    Tame the wild best inside her

    Sometimes you can fix something by causing a commotion,
    Chaos is an answer

    25 couplets contributed by The Gefkens:

    sometimes you can fix something by just deciding to die
    thank you, Dr. Kevorkian

    sometimes you can fix something by just having a dick
    there's nothing wrong with being masculine

    sometimes you can fix something by just asking a pro
    some problems need a trained technician

    sometimes you can fix something by just crossing your fingers
    tho that's only a superstition

    sometimes you can fix something by just being wrong
    mea culpa, mea culpa

    sometimes you can fix something by just startin' to chant
    NOM MYOHO RENGE HARE KRISHNA

    sometimes you can fix something by just going New Wave
    get black jeans and a Farfisa

    sometimes you can fix something by just having a shtick
    like Liberace's candelabra

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking the train
    efficient public transportation

    sometimes you can fix something on the L.I.R.R.
    dream on, dream on, dream on

    sometimes you can fix something by just joining a frat
    become a Lion or a Mason

    sometimes you can fix something by just polishing a turd
    'til it shines like a diamond

    sometimes you can fix something by just making a plan
    organize your operation

    sometimes you can fix something by just drinking some wine
    loosen up your inhibitions

    sometimes you can fix something by just being sweet
    maintain a pleasant disposition

    sometimes you can fix something by just being cruel
    that's how horses are broken

    sometimes you can fix something by just trying again
    sometimes you win by being stubborn

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying "oh well"
    a feeble rationalization

    sometimes you can fix something by just waving the flag
    demagogic jingoism

    sometimes you can fix something by just being numb
    anesthetize your real feelings

    sometimes you can fix something by just blasting away
    'til you run out of ammunition

    sometimes you can fix something by just studying Bird
    solo with upper extensions

    sometimes you can fix something by just knowing the chords
    A B minor D eleven

    sometimes you can fix something by just courting the rich
    it really helps to have a patron

    sometimes you can fix something by just being rich
    poverty is not fun

    sometimes you can fix something by just being rich
    a Gen X Trust-a-farian

    30 couplets contributed by Bianca Bob Miller:

    sometimes you can fix something by just killing the rich
    I welcome that revolution

    sometimes you can fix something by just checking your math
    redo your calculations

    sometimes you can fix something with just a tambourine
    sweeten the track with some percussion

    sometimes you can fix something by just screwing up
    lower people's expectations

    sometimes you can fix something by just lifting a line
    i second that emotion

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting a machine
    automation speeds production

    sometimes you can fix something by just dropping a name
    it really helps to have a maven

    sometimes you can fix something by just keeping a straight face
    don't let 'em know you're laughing at 'em

    sometimes you can fix something by just building a box
    look what that did for Phillip Johnson

    sometimes you can fix something by just refusing to vote
    the last I cast was for McGovern

    sometimes you can fix something by just checking the line
    maybe it's just a loose connection

    sometimes you can fix something by just putting on a show
    like Mickey Rooney & Judy Garland

    sometimes you can fix something by just having a good spot
    location, location, location

    sometimes you can fix something by just working up a sweat
    success is 9/10ths perspiration

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting a lock
    just don't forget the combination

    sometimes you can fix something by just knowing the code
    some data's hidden by encryption

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying it again
    make your point with repetition

    sometimes you can fix something by just poking around
    everybody's hiding something

    sometimes you can fix something by just calling a strike
    go to binding arbitration

    sometimes you can fix something by just having one
    if you're the only one who has one!

    sometimes you can fix something by just having one more
    complete your collection

    sometimes you can fix something by just being wild
    resist domestication

    sometimes you can fix something by just quitting your job
    start living like a Bohemian

    sometimes you can fix something by just going right now
    there's too much traffic on the weekends

    sometimes you can fix something by just growing a beard
    avoid the misery of shaving

    sometimes you can fix something with just the perfect scene
    like waltzing in Grand Central Station

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking a look
    deputize a delegation

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying amen
    thus endeth the lesson

    sometimes you can fix something by just hating the beach
    that worked alright for Brian Wilson

    sometimes you can fix something by calling Tom Goodkind
    he's the master of shrewd thinking

    1 couplets contributed by Harvey Gold:

    Sometimes you can fix csomething by simply outlasting
    Cowboys can't die while on their feet

    lean on a tree and just keep-on-standing
    Can't die if you just don't go to sleep

    Sometimes you can fix something by keeping your pants on
    No baby mamas made today

    No slip, no slide, no deal, no ride, no mess to fix now
    Pants up, buttoned down and walk away: FAST!

    Sometimes you can fix something by stopping this nonsense
    Go make love to your wife

    Cleans all puts all in the past tense
    Just go out and get a life!!

    Sometimes you can fix something by (just) running for Congress
    Lawmakers get so much done

    Legislate the problems caucus up let's be honest
    You'll still be in bed by a quarter o' one.

    Sometimes you can fix something by knocking yourself senseless
    Blink blink as all the layers unpeel

    Sometimes you can fix something by painting your body
    Goldie Hawn MEANT 'Sock it to Me.'

    Sometimes you can fix something by eating some fruit!
    Regularityâs a good thing

    Sometimes you can fix something by trimming a hedge
    Topiary art is so soothing.

    Sometimes you can fix something by robbing a nun
    Increase your power courting Satan

    Sometimes you can fix something by dreamin' the dream'
    Get the girl and wind up naked.

    Sometimes you can fix something by eating at Swenson's
    Forbes FYI would never lie

    Sometimes you can fix something by becoming a Vet!
    Our furry friends are our allies

    Sometimes you can fix something by going on a vacation
    1 week ain't nearly long enough

    Sometimes you can fix something by just keeping your door shut
    Isolationism Rocks!

    Sometimes you can fix something by resoling your shoes
    Makes you feel smart and ready

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting a tan
    A little color seems so healthy

    Sometimes you can fix something by just visiting Gramma
    Her form of guilt is so persuasive

    Sometimes you can fix something by just going to Lowe's
    Tool always settled dad

    Sometimes you can fix something by simply rewinding
    Undoing all that you can't see

    Walk backwards, keep your eye on what hasn't happened
    Just try to stay on your feet

    Sometimes you can fix something by just dialing it up
    Crabby friends notwithstanding

    Sometimes you can fix something by just changing your clothes
    Presenting more than inner beauty

    Sometimes you can fix something by just changing a flat
    Keep it moving forward motion

    Sometimes you can fix something by just grooming your hair
    Do your best to be attractive

    Sometimes you can fix something with earnest conviction
    Grit gets you half way there

    Sometimes you can fix something by hatin' on your neighbor
    Vitriolâs the treat that can't be beat.

    Sometimes you can fix something by just bearing witness
    Christianity's got tenure

    Sometimes you can fix something by just building a barn
    A little agrarian nostalgia

    Sometimes you can fix something by just looking up!
    Anticipate Invasions

    Sometimes you can fix something by just selling your house
    Can't beat a clean getaway.

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being just
    Liberty is always balanced

    Sometimes you can fix something by eating a sub
    Good nutrition is overrated

    Sometimes you can fix something by just penciling in
    Working up a few ideas

    12 couplets contributed by Chris Butler:

    sometimes you can fix something by just smashing your car
    the Keith Moon School of Wreckless Driving

    sometimes you can fix something by just going ahead
    surrender to temptation

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying "hey?'
    "who the hell gave you permission?"

    sometimes you can fix something by just doing it anyway
    over everyone's objections

    sometimes you can fix something by just reading some smut
    that'll get those juices flowing

    sometimes you can fix something by just gutting it out
    don't let go of your vision

    sometimes you can fix something by just losing your nerve
    reconsider what you're doin'

    sometimes you can fix something by just havin' your doubts
    maybe your idea's a dumb one

    sometimes you can fix something by just plodding along
    when you're way past the point of caring

    sometimes you can fix something by just pulling the plug
    cutting your losses shows wisdom

    sometimes you can fix something by plugging back in
    lick your wounds then come out swingin'

    sometimes you can fix something by just being unplugged
    your record will sell millions

    0 couplets contributed by JASON BEERS:

    Sometimes you can take 10 years between writing lyrics and finally recording it. Ha.

    29 couplets contributed by Christopher D. Butler:

    sometimes you can fix something by just pounding away
    get that thru your cranium

    sometimes you can fix something with just a list of names
    thank 'em in the dedication

    sometimes you can fix something by just using a Vox
    the best British amplification

    sometimes you can fix something by just dropping in
    my front door is always open

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting a fix
    tho dope is dumb by definition

    sometimes you can fix something by just tapping your phone
    do it for your own protection

    sometimes you can fix something by just having long hair
    i grok yer groovy vibrations

    sometimes you can fix something by just dropping a frame
    get things in synchronization

    sometimes you can fix something by just being cute
    everybody’s little darlin’

    sometimes you can fix something by just changing its shape
    they say that form follows function

    sometimes you can fix something by just fixing it yourself
    consider it a challenge

    sometimes you can fix something by just asking for help
    here...gimme that before ya break something

    sometimes you can fix something by just having the knack
    while other's just keep on struggling

    sometimes you can fix something by ooking the other way
    survive by being a good German

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying "nein"
    "das ist verboten"

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a vamp
    oozing decadent corruption

    sometimes you can fix something by just falling in love
    you'll feel like a virgin

    sometimes you can fix something by falling in love again
    ya gotta get your head examined

    sometimes you can fix something by having a backyard
    hang a hammock, plant a garden

    sometimes you can fix something by just living in town
    my whole backyard is Manhattan

    sometimes you can fix something by just knowing the trick
    ignore the man behind the curtain

    sometimes you can fix something by just knowin' for sure
    tho nothing is for certain

    sometimes you can fix something by just paying the fine
    avoid a lengthy prosecution

    sometimes you can fix something by just knocking it down
    make more room by demolition

    sometimes you can fix something by trying everything you can
    run thru all the permutations

    sometimes you can fix something if the calla lilies are in bloom
    perfect for any occasion

    sometimes you can fix something by just wanting the best
    I wanna own the Chrysler Building

    sometimes you can fix something by just being the best
    XTC's the greatest pop band

    sometimes you can't fix something by just being the best
    XTC's still stuck in Swindon

    0 couplets contributed by Captain Celeste Dorage:

    Sometimes you can fix something by:
    -Listening to the radio
    - laughing at the blues
    -making sure that no one‘s hungry
    -sitting on a barstool
    -looking for Integrity
    -instead of fixing you
    -listening with an open heart
    -looking in her eyes
    -leaving others by the wayside
    -using super glue!
    -knocking on the door
    -laying on the floor

    Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes,

    you just can’t fix
    You just can’t fix
    You just can’t fix

    Something something something something something something something something

    Scat out…… On something……

    6 couplets contributed by Chris Butler:

    Refrain

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a prick
    winning by intimidation

    sometimes you can fix something by just lifting your skirt
    it's the ultimate distraction

    V
    i poke button
    i want action
    let's hear some gears and see some smoke

    no dilly-dally
    move your heiny
    this is the age of "go for broke"

    Refrain
    sometimes you can fix something by just kissing some ass
    if you don't mind humiliation

    sometimes you can fix something by just smoking a pipe
    academic contemplation

    V2
    so pathetic no mechanic
    no steady eye, no magic touch

    no screwdriver
    ball peen hammer
    mr. fix-it's gone to lunch

    Extension 1
    not personal?
    yeah it's personal..
    what did i ever do to you?

    no crap from
    contraptions
    just do what i tell you to do

    Refrain x 2
    sometimes you can fix something by just blaming your mom
    everybody loves a victim

    sometimes you can fix something by just cracking a joke
    humor is greasy lubrication

    sometimes you can fix something by just cooking the books
    wealth is all about perception

    sometimes you can fix something by just smoking a joint
    stoner free association

    Solo

    V3
    broke down, lifeless
    junkyard worthless
    no tweezer jesus in the house

    so desperate
    so dependent
    pay any price to dope it out

    Extension2
    i want genius
    i wanna suss
    the perfect kluge, the devil glitch

    oh, hosanna
    socket messiah
    the only jesus worth a shit

    25 couplets contributed by Krys O:

    Sometimes you can fix something by just asking a question
    mother nature doesn’t really care

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being a goofball
    mike nesmith had the wool hat

    Sometimes you can fix something by just carrying a big stick
    that’s the devil’s jukebox

    Sometimes you can fix something by just dyeing your hair
    oh, come on you’re worth it

    Sometimes you can fix something by just eyeing the exit
    just in case of emergency

    Sometimes you can fix something by just forging a new bond
    just hold on to the old ones

    Sometimes you can fix something by just giving up
    then you just start over

    Sometimes you can fix something by just having a fit
    you might end up with some money

    Sometimes you can fix something by just ignoring the signs
    if they’re in the wrong direction

    Sometimes you can fix something by just jiving the blues
    aw shucks it’s really easy

    Sometimes you can fix something by just kicking the can
    it can make you a kid again

    Sometimes you can fix something by just live, larf and loaf
    french frith Kaiser Thompson

    Sometimes you can fix something by just making a proof
    then you won’t risk a mistake

    Sometimes you can fix something by just noodling a riff
    it could come out a masterpiece

    Sometimes you can fix something by just observing the horizon
    you can get the big picture

    Sometimes you can fix something by just pouring your heart out
    see your problems shrinking

    Sometimes you can fix something by just quizzing a quail
    have fun with alliteration

    Sometimes you can fix something by just rubbing the spot out
    there’s no need to bleach it

    Sometimes you can fix something by just saving it for later
    let your subconscious work it out

    Sometimes you can fix something by just taking a dive
    it beats a bloody nose

    Sometimes you can fix something by just uncovering the past
    no need to hide anymore

    Sometimes you can fix something by just venting your mind
    better let some air in

    Sometimes you can fix something by just washing the windows
    be careful of the streaks though

    Sometimes you can fix something by just x-ing out the bad words
    like coulda shoulda woulda

    Sometimes you can fix something by just yanking the chain
    it could open up the right door

    Sometimes you can fix something by just zeroing in on a detail
    helps with comprehension

    99 couplets contributed by Oblique Orchestra:

    Sometimes you can fix something by not wanting to fix it
    Abandon all desire

    Sometimes you can fix something by just taking a detour
    Eschew normal instructions

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting an opinion
    It's advice, not losing power

    Sometimes you can fix something with a little something extra
    A little bit of magic

    Sometimes you can fix something by being less linear
    Have two sides, after all

    Sometimes you can fix something by retracing your steps...
    that first step in particular

    Sometimes you can fix something by convincing the unconvinced
    to work against their better judgement

    Sometimes you can fix something by just asking your body
    Your temperature is the decider

    Sometimes you can fix something by just dropping the soap
    Don't be afraid of being dirty

    Sometimes you can fix something by just going all out
    Extravagance may be in order

    Sometimes you can fix something by just mellowing out
    Less criticism, more acceptance

    Sometimes you can fix something by pretending you're a bellows
    Breathe deep, then push all the air out

    Sometimes you can fix something by just burning a bridge
    You'll wonder why you even built it

    Sometimes you can fix something by... Just zooming in
    Change ambiguities to specifics

    Sometimes you can fix something by just not fixing it
    Keep on doing what you were doing

    Sometimes you can fix something by... Just zooming out
    Change specifics to ambiguities

    Sometimes you can fix something by checking the synapses
    Answers may be in the transitions

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being brave
    Coooooooooouraaaaaaaaaaaaage!

    Sometimes you can fix something by letting cats bite wires
    Cut off an important connection

    Sometimes you can fix something by just hanging some drapes...
    If you hate it, decorate it

    Sometimes you can fix something leaving things intact,
    or destroying what's important.

    Sometimes you can fix something by cutting loose the old saws
    Discard those cherished axioms

    Sometimes you can fix something by just saying yes...
    to some controlled self-indulgence

    Sometimes you can fix something by ditching your old tricks
    Find your formulas, and then lose them

    Sometimes you can fix something by...Singing out, Louise!
    Don't be afraid to show your talent
    [Display your talent]

    Sometimes you can fix something by being Dr. Who
    Think of time as something bendy.

    Sometimes you can fix something by grabbing the the low-hanging fruit
    Don't avoid what is easy

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being inert
    Do nothing for as long as possible

    Sometimes you can fix something by... Just playing dead
    Don't break the silence

    Sometimes you can fix something by not picking a side
    Don't stress one thing more than another

    Sometimes you can fix something with utter simplicity
    Boring is the new black!

    Sometimes you can fix something by going off the deep end
    Do something sudden, destructive, and unpredictable

    Sometimes you can fix something by going right to the end
    Do the last thing as the first thing

    Sometimes you can fix something by forgetting about the music
    Is it the words that need the fixing?

    Sometimes you can fix something by turning up the contrast
    Emphasize the things that differ

    Sometimes you can fix something by highlighting the problems
    Warts show personality!

    Sometimes you can fix something by doing it like Deiter
    Don't choose; do both together

    Sometimes you can fix something by just tying it down
    Use a safe part as an anchor

    Sometimes you can fix something by just showing your hand
    Go ahead...give the game away

    Sometimes you can fix something by going to the dark side
    Give way to your worst impulse

    Sometimes you can fix something by just going outside
    And let the door hit you on the way out

    Sometimes you can fix something by going to extremes,
    then coming halfway back to normal.

    Sometimes you can fix something by just asking yourself,
    how would someone else approach this?

    Sometimes you can fix something by asking someone else,
    how would you have done it?

    Sometimes you can fix something with total darkness,
    or in a large room very quietly.

    Sometimes you can fix something by just stepping back
    Holy shit, maybe it's finished!

    Sometimes you can fix something by just looking for holes
    Think about what might be missing.

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being Tim Gunn
    Is that style really working?

    Sometimes you can fix something by just applying yourself
    Elbow grease make a good frosting

    Sometimes you can fix something by just carrying on
    I mean keep going, not throw a tantrum

    Sometimes you can fix something just mellowing out
    Let your quiet voice speak loudest

    Sometimes you can fix something by shaking up your sequence
    Maybe you order's not in order

    Sometimes you can fix something by highlighting the hell
    Focus on what you don't want to

    Sometimes you can fix something with soft lights and Barry White
    Expose the sensuality

    Sometimes you can fix something by throwing on some dirt
    Humanness is next to godliness

    Sometimes you can fix something setting your sights lower
    Work on what seems unimportant

    Sometimes you can fix something by not building a wall
    Just make a brick instead

    Sometimes you can fix something by just starting your search
    Once you do, you will find something

    Sometimes you can fix something by looking at the micro
    The macro can be overwhelming

    Sometimes you can fix something by just picking one element
    and fixing that one thing throughout

    Sometimes you can fix something by just toeing the line
    Be a champion of inertia

    Sometimes you can fix something by just leaving it blank
    Emptiness can equal substance

    Sometimes you can fix something by knocking down your idols
    Question the heroic

    Sometimes you can fix something by just closing your eyes
    and remembering quiet evenings

    Sometimes you can fix something just by opening up
    Try removing that restriction

    Sometimes you can fix something by doing it ad nauseum
    The repetition could transform it

    Sometimes you can fix something by retracing your steps
    They call that walking back the kitty

    Sometimes you can fix something by just turning around
    Back out of your mental driveway

    Sometimes you can fix something by just making it less
    Simple second grade subtraction

    Sometimes you can fix something by taxiing the runway
    Slow preparation, fast execution

    Sometimes you can fix something by just saying what's wrong
    Read aloud the error message

    Sometimes you can fix something by just sitting one out
    You can always dance more later

    Sometimes you can fix something by clearing the out the big stuff
    Take away what seems important

    Sometimes you can fix something by being inconsistent
    Create some tension, some texture

    Sometimes you can fix something by looking in the corners
    What you forgot could be important

    Sometimes you can fix something by staring down the problem,
    then finding inspiration elsewhere

    Sometimes you can fix something by just tidying up
    The answer might be in the junk pile.

    Sometimes you can fix something by just pretending to fix it
    You might just fake it and unbreak it

    Sometimes you can fix something by just looking for change
    Turn it upside down and shake it

    Sometimes you can fix something by recycling in your head
    Pull an idea out of mothballs

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being obvious
    Cliches are famous for a reason

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting to its essence
    Filter out all the detritus

    Sometimes you can fix something by just looking around
    Use what's nearby as a model

    Sometimes you can fix something by trusting raw talent
    No qualifications needed

    Sometimes you can fix something by not outsourcing
    Why not use your own ideas?

    Sometimes you can fix something by voicing your suspicions
    Give in to paranoia

    Sometimes you can fix something with a pond, a lake, an ocean
    Reflect upon the water

    Sometimes you can fix something by just changing the frame
    A different context might improve things

    Sometimes you can fix something by just dumbing it down
    What's the simplest solution?

    Sometimes you can fix something by just looking back
    What mistakes did you make last time?

    Sometimes you can fix something by tweaking the amounts
    What to increase, reduce or maintain?

    Sometimes you can fix something by just coming clean
    Tell us what you were really thinking

    Sometimes you can fix something by first figuring out
    what it is you won't do

    Sometimes you can fix something by just asking yourself,
    what would my BFF do?

    Sometimes you can fix something by just watching the clock (tick, tick!)
    Nothing motivates like deadlines

    Sometimes you can fix something by feeling for the edges
    Keep going until you can't

    Sometimes you can fix something by just making some groups
    Some things may be like some others

    Sometimes you can fix something by just slowing down,
    or deciding to go faster...wheeeee!

    Sometimes you can fix something by looking at it harshly
    Would anyone even want this?

    And sometimes you can fix something by using your mistakes
    They may really be your intentions

    18 couplets contributed by Ken Shimamoto:

    Sometimes you can fix something by trying to do it all
    But watch out, don't crash and burn

    Sometimes you can fix something by doing nothing at all
    A minimalist approach

    Sometimes you can fix something by emulating Lou Reed
    And playing football for the coach

    Sometimes you can fix something by writing another verse
    Make sure you've done an even number

    Sometimes you can fix something by being early to lunch
    Sitting by yourself outside on the deck

    Sometimes you can fix something by being late to lunch
    If the other guy likes grabbing the check

    Sometimes you can fix something by running the other way
    When you see some joker with a gun

    Sometimes you can fix something by just counting to ten
    It's more than nine but less than eleven

    Sometimes you can fix something by just brushing your teeth
    Proper dental hygiene is a good step

    Sometimes you can fix something by just quitting your band
    Unless you end up like Mick Taylor

    Sometimes you can fix something by singing like Iggy Pop
    Unless you think that would be no fun

    Sometimes you can fix something by giving it all away
    And asking for nothing in return

    Sometimes you can fix something by just sailing a boat
    It's sink or swim if you fall overboard

    Sometimes you can fix something by just blowing you nose
    To clear up nasal congestion

    Sometimes you can fix something by just dropping a hint
    Utilize the power of suggestion

    Sometimes you can fix something by singing like Robert Smith
    You might think that it's just like Heaven

    Sometimes you can fix something by adopting a protégé
    Teach them well to follow in your footsteps

    Sometimes you can fix something by just riding a bike
    But please take care of your derailleur

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a cat
    Defer to our pointy-eared overlords

    8 couplets contributed by The Swales:

    Sometimes you can fix something by just laying it down,
    Did you ever really need the hassle?

    Sometimes you can fix something by just letting it go,
    There's the moat now Darling, where's the castle?

    Sometimes you can fix something by just clearing the air,
    Don't matter how you feel

    Sometimes you can fix something by just shrugging it off,
    Rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb

    Sometimes you can fix something by just having a cake,
    Did you ever want to eat it too?

    Sometimes you can fix something by just taking a nap,
    Close my eyes and show me what to do

    Sometimes you can fix something by just saying, "I quit",
    Do you always have to push right through?

    Sometimes you can fix something by just saying, "I do",
    Rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb

    0 couplets contributed by THE DOUBLE WIDE FOOT LONG:

    The problem is the busting out to find the bitch in heat
    The problem is the humping of every leg the fucker meets
    The problem is the primal instinct pissing on the walls
    Sometimes you can fix something by cutting off his balls

    Sometimes he's a-cryin', sometimes he just moans
    Sometimes I assume the dude's just gnawing on his bone
    But then it gets too quiet and I'm seeing what is what
    Sometimes you can fix something by cutting off his nuts

    You wake up in the morning and the screen is ripped to shreds
    And everybody's sleeping but he's not in his bed
    Incriminating evidence on all the neighbor's yards
    You know, sometimes you can fix something by snipping off his nards

    0 couplets contributed by Lane Steinberg:

    I can't make too many of these out...can you?

    25 couplets contributed by Mars Williams:

    sometimes you can fix something by just buying the beer
    get to know your new companions

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking a trip
    the greatest place on earth is Iceland

    sometimes you can fix something by just spinning your wheels
    sometimes the thing to do is nothing

    sometimes you can fix something by just spinning your wheels
    heat 'em up for better traction

    sometimes you can fix something by just oiling your wheels
    a little grease reduces friction

    sometimes you can fix something by just trusting yourself
    listen to your intuition

    sometimes you can fix something with just a tin can
    a West Virginia exhaust system

    sometimes you can fix something by just pulling that switch
    justice is served by execution

    sometimes you can fix something by just drawing the line
    there is a limit to your patience

    sometimes you can fix something with just the right phrase
    come up with a catchy slogan

    sometimes you can fix something by just changing one word
    that's how a thought becomes a poem

    sometimes you can fix something by just buying some time
    let things settle down some

    sometimes you can fix something by just being crude
    dirty jokes help male bonding

    sometimes you can fix something by just pulling some strings
    set things into motion

    sometimes you can fix something by just having the clout
    the juice to get the job done

    sometimes you can fix something by just pulling rank
    declare an end to the discussion

    sometimes you can fix something by just giving 'em lip
    there's power in sarcasm

    sometimes you can fix something by just showing respect
    if they deserve it, give 'em some

    sometimes you can fix something by just flipping 'em the bird
    tho that invites retaliation

    sometimes you can fix something with just a little paint
    cover up those imperfections

    sometimes you can fix something by putting throwing the baby out with the bathwater
    a cliché's okay if it's a good one

    sometimes you can fix something with just a good excuse
    say you were kidnapped by Martians

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking a vote
    settle on a course of action

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking a poll
    but rig it with tricky questions

    sometimes you can fix something by just carrying a spare
    crucial gear often malfunctions

    19 couplets contributed by SuperEdwardR:

    Sometimes you can fix something by singing into a microphone
    Let the world hear your projection

    Sometimes you can fix something by playing the same two chords
    A good technique is repetition

    Sometimes you can fix something by not playing the same two chords
    Allow a variation

    Sometimes you can fix something by just starting to jam
    Improvisation

    Oh damn, what now?
    This I won't allow
    The band is off key today.
    The keyboard is not decent
    The singing is unpleasant
    And the guitarist doesn't know how to play.
    I have a solution
    The perfect sell
    With computer magic and Auto Tune
    Yeah, it's not genuine
    But what the hell
    The band will sound professional soon.

    Sometimes you can fix something by just going home
    Return to your objective

    Sometimes you can fix something by not going home
    Who needs to be overprotective?

    Sometimes you can fix something by having a good time
    Just go out and have some fun

    Sometimes you can’t fix something by having a good time
    You gotta learn to get some work done.

    Sometimes you can fix something by not using lyrics from the Devil Glitch
    We want to hear some new ones

    Sometimes you can fix something by not adding weak material
    Use your imagination

    Sometimes you can fix something by deleting System32
    You just screwed up your system!

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being Chris Butler
    Guitarist, songwriter, musician

    Sometimes you can fix something by just writing a song
    Musical production

    Sometimes you can fix something by hiring a team of songwriters
    Seriously, I can't write compositions

    Sometimes you can fix something by just getting your emails
    A response to your question

    Sometimes you can’t fix something by not getting your emails
    That’s very disappointing

    Sometimes you can fix something by setting up a website
    You'll have lots of welcome invitations

    Sometimes you can fix something by creating the Major Glitch
    A project that involves participation

    Sometimes you can fix something by just shutting it down
    Sorry, we’re under construction

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting to the end
    Come to a conclusion.

    5 couplets contributed by evA dilcuE:

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    not fixing anything, there's nothing to fix

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    not doing anything, just sit, breathe, be

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    being everything, and nothing

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    dissolving into nothing

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    being the change you want to see

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    the tale of who you bring, share yourself

    29 couplets contributed by Violet Ray:

    sometimes you can fix something by just knowing what ya want
    don't suffer fools, morons or cretins

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting dressed
    nudity gets boring

    sometimes you can fix something by just hurting yourself
    some people thrive on self-destruction

    sometimes you can fix something by just camping out
    build a fire, climb a mountain

    sometimes you can fix something by just takin' a hike
    turn in your resignation

    sometimes you can fix something by just spraying the pots
    resistance rises with corrosion

    sometimes you can fix something by just being cool
    quote Negroponte or McCluen

    sometimes you can fix something by just being cool
    like Ray Milland or Robert Mitchum

    sometimes you can fix something by just being cool
    like Combustible Edison

    sometimes you can fix something by just being real cool
    like William Powell in "The Thin Man"

    sometimes you can fix something by just being outta the loop
    that way they can't say that you're lying

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying "I can't"
    ya gotta know your limitations

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying "I am"
    tho don't expect someone to listen

    sometimes you can fix something by just looking back
    revive some retro tradition

    sometimes you can fix something by just looking ahead
    stick to your game plan

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting mad
    so what's your fucking problem?

    sometimes you can fix something by just changing your tie
    sharpen up your presentation

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a slob
    protest the fascism of fashion

    sometimes you can fix something by just selling out
    life has its Faustian bargains

    sometimes you can fix something by just wearing a rug
    tho who do you think you're fooling?

    sometimes you can fix something by just watching the clock
    over-achievers are a nuisance

    sometimes you can fix something by just being fast and bulbous
    also tapered, that's right, Captain

    sometimes you can fix something by just being blue
    maybe they'll ban ya in Boston

    sometimes you can fix something by just singing the blues
    like Howlin' Wolf, not Eric Clapton

    sometimes you can fix something by just singing the blues
    but what the hell is "Smoke Stack Lightning"?

    sometimes you can fix something by just changing your strings
    be sure to check your intonation

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting a tip
    eavesdrop on a conversation

    sometimes you can fix something by just making M.A.S.H.
    make a fortune on the re-runs

    sometimes you can fix something by just wanting it now
    instant gratification

    4 couplets contributed by Chris Karl Butler:

    sometimes you can fix somethings by just adding it up
    it's numerology

    sometimes you can fix somethings by just looking through walls
    by viewing it remotely

    sometimes you can fix somethings by just making it rain
    you can influence the weather

    sometimes you can fix somethings by just looking away
    shadows in your sidelong vision

    0 couplets contributed by Dusty Wright:

    Glitch glitch glitch glitch
    Glitch glitch glitch glitch

    30 couplets contributed by Team Philpott:

    Sometimes you can fix something by looking at that crack
    And thinking I will use no plaster

    I have none in the house and so I will attack
    This fissure with some tape it's faster

    Sometimes you can fix something by make do and mend
    And kid yourself you'll do it better (but later)

    you then forget and only realize it when
    That hole has now became a crater

    Sometimes you can fix something by kidding yourselves
    That that is just the paint that's peeling

    You get that tester pot and think that it's fine
    Till rain is flooding through the ceiling

    Sometimes you can fix something by saying ''that'll do''
    Can't do it properly too much trouble

    I'll use some paste .. instead of good glue
    Reduce my palace into rubble

    Sometimes you can fix something by hearing that noise
    And turning up the CD player

    And it's OK until the black smoke appears
    And you stranded out in nowhere

    Sometimes you can fix something by putting it off
    And hoping it can’t get much worse

    And all is fine until that rattling cough
    It almost puts you in a hearse

    Sometimes you can fix something by a tactical vote
    To stop the others getting in

    Congratulations when you’’re just about afloat
    But tidal waves are happening

    Sometimes you can fix something by turning to Class A’s
    And all your worries put on hold

    You’ll be amazing interesting and blase
    While problems mount ten thousandfold

    Sometimes you can fix something by taking a crash course
    A Surgeon’s job without the effort

    But dig the scalpel in the wrong place using force
    And you may find the wrong bit severed

    Sometimes you can fix something by thread instead of rope
    Surely a justified replacement

    And when you step out you can only walk and hope
    Your shoes do not end up on the pavement

    Sometimes you can fix something by pretending it won’t end
    Like binge watching loads of Seinfeld

    And when you realize there is no season 10
    Your sadness is all the more heartfelt

    Sometimes you can fix something by learning to drive
    To save you all hassle walking

    And though to destinations quicker you arrive
    Pedestrians don’t pay for parking

    Sometimes you can fix something by streaming films online
    For your leisurely enjoyment

    Not using pirate sites your laptop will be fine
    For that is copyright infringement

    Sometimes you can fix something by listening to Kiss
    But If I may talk freely

    I much prefer the stuff with Peter Criss
    Or the guitarist Ace,,,,err….um no it’s gone

    Sometimes you can fix something by crystal meth
    But there’s the risk you’ll go to jail

    The best you’ll get is rotten breath
    You’re better off with Crystal Gayle

    Sometimes you can fix something by going on a cruise
    It can erase all sense of panic

    Until the ice berg they can’t swerve comes into view
    You find you’re on the new Titanic

    Sometimes you can fix something by retail therapy
    It’s like Buddhism in reverse

    But I would much prefer an empty property
    Than opening an empty purse

    Sometimes you can fix something by Photoshop
    You’ll be a younger looking version

    But that illusion will be set to stop
    When you are close-up and in person

    Sometimes you can fix something by household chores
    For this removes all mess and spillage

    For some this stimulates for others it bores
    We clean while playing some Steve Hillage

    Sometimes you can fix something by going to Stonehenge
    And channeling your inner hippie

    You can find inner peace but I’d rather go to Penge
    I hear they have a brilliant chippy

    Sometimes you can fix something by playing some guitar
    They say it’s cure all therapy

    But only if there is no whiplash from strings stretched far
    When 2 steps up in Open G

    Sometimes you can fix something by patching that tire
    Although I must say at this juncture

    That any piercing caused by a vampire
    Is quite another kind of puncture

    Sometimes you can fix something by nails and hammer
    Ideally during carpentry

    It does not work so well in every manner
    Like bouncy castles or pottery

    Sometimes you can fix something by needle and thread
    Especially dresses socks and jeans

    But if you fall and if you split your head
    You should avoid sewing machines

    46 couplets contributed by Don Libby:

    sometimes you can fix something by
    by just turning it on

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just turning it off

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just calling a pro

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just letting it go

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just waggin your tail

    sometimes you can fix something
    with a hammer and nail

    sometimes you can fix something
    with a drop of glue

    sometimes you can fix something
    if you use the right tool

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just yankin the chain

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just using your brain

    sometimes you can fix something by
    hook or by crook

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just taking a look

    sometimes you can fix something by
    reading the directions

    sometimes you can fix something by
    making some corrections

    sometimes you can fix something
    with a modification

    sometimes you can fix something by
    taking a vacation

    sometimes you can fix something by
    flippin the circuit breaker

    sometimes you can fix something by
    cruisin to Jamaica

    sometimes you can fix something
    with deep inhalation

    sometimes you can fix something
    with positive vibration

    sometimes you can fix something by
    giving it your all

    sometimes you can fix something by
    doing nothing at all

    sometimes you can fix something
    till you got to say "hang it"

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just shouting "dang it"

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just smilin wide

    sometimes you can fix something
    with a rider by your side

    sometimes you can fix something by
    going out on a limb

    sometimes you can fix something by
    by taking a swim

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just shinin a light

    sometimes you can fix something
    in the middle of the night

    sometimes you can fix something
    with a breath of fresh air

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just leaving it there

    sometimes you can fix something
    with a microwave oven

    sometimes you can fix something
    with some good lovin

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just lovin it more

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just being a bore

    sometimes you can fix something
    with some extra lubrication

    sometimes you can fix something
    with some intoxication

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just getting it on

    sometimes you can fix something by
    going till its gone

    sometimes you can fix something by
    calling all your friends

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just pitching in

    sometimes you can fix something
    with your imagination

    sometimes you can fix something
    with a dog in the station

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just turning it on

    sometimes you can fix something by
    just turning it off

    9 couplets contributed by Amanda Thorpe:

    sometimes you can fix things by walking away
    no need for consultations

    sometimes you can fix some things by just being a bitch
    it can release hypertension

    sometimes you can fix some things by just taking a breath
    you don't need a revelation

    sometimes you can fix some things by just walking the dog
    get your head some oxygenation

    sometimes you fix these things by just being an ass
    they don’t always deserve much better

    sometimes you fix these things by just falling out of a plane
    you never know what could happen

    sometimes you fix things by flicking a switch
    there’s nothing like illumination

    sometimes you fix things by just changing your specs
    rose times went out with Ronald Raygun

    sometimes you fix things by getting off stage
    I think that time has come now

    sometimes you fix some things by shutting up

    26 couplets contributed by The Whatnots:

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking a pill
    then call me in the morning

    sometimes you can fix something by just making a roux
    that's how I once saved Thanksgiving

    sometimes you can fix something by just dropping a bomb
    teach the bastards a lesson

    sometimes you can fix something by just throwing a fit
    ventilate all your frustrations

    sometimes you can fix something by just eating some meat
    protein's a part of good nutrition

    sometimes you can fix something by just eating some meat
    vegetarians are boring

    sometimes you can fix something by not eating some meat
    cow farts are ruining the ozone

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting a break
    just be ready when it happens

    sometimes you can fix something by just sitting still
    wait for that flash of inspiration

    sometimes you can fix something by just sitting real still
    they call that "playing possum"

    sometimes you can fix something by going to the source
    some things get lost in the translation

    sometimes you can fix something by just making a link
    that's called concatenation

    sometimes you can fix something by just being strange
    beyond all classification

    sometimes you can fix something by just branching out
    if you can get good distribution

    sometimes you can fix something by just hitting Control-S
    computers are always crashing

    sometimes you can fix something by just finding a mate
    there's nothing like a good companion

    sometimes you can fix something by just being alone
    ya always seem to get more work done

    sometimes you can fix something by just having a kid
    then move to Montclair from Hoboken

    sometimes you can fix something by just throwing it away
    clutter's an anal compulsion

    sometimes you can fix something by giving it away
    we're now accepting donations

    sometimes you can fix something by just eating some corn
    clean out your colon

    sometimes you can fix something by just turning the page
    find out who was the villain

    sometimes you can fix something by just picking yourself up
    and get back in the runnin'

    sometimes you can fix something by just making a few tweaks
    subtle modifications

    sometimes you can fix something by not getting it fixed
    maybe you got stuck with a lemon

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting old
    just outlive your competition

    39 couplets contributed by Fear of Falling:

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a spy
    launch a covert operation

    sometimes you can fix something by ordering a probe
    a blue ribbon investigation

    sometimes you can fix something by just saving the earth
    how can we stand all this pollution?

    sometimes you can fix something by checking the SCSI i.d.
    you might need termination

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a bitch
    some men need lots of training

    sometimes you can fix something by just building a bridge
    try to form a coalition

    sometimes you can fix something by just drying it out
    shorts are caused by condensation

    sometimes you can fix something by just starting from the top
    get it right with more rehearsing

    sometimes you can fix something by just explaining it again
    aim for clarification

    sometimes you can fix something by just making a switch
    try a clever substitution

    sometimes you can fix something by believing in ghosts
    witchcraft and divination

    sometimes you can fix something by just seeing a ghost
    that gimmick always worked for Dickens

    sometimes you can fix something by just doing the right thing
    ethics matter in the long run

    sometimes you can fix something by finally seeing the light
    but watch out for deathbed conversions

    sometimes you can fix something by just dragging your butt
    keep 'em waiting, keep 'em wait-in'

    sometimes you can fix something by just shaking things up
    a total reorganization

    sometimes you can fix something by just being strong
    some jobs require heavy lifting

    sometimes you can fix something by just being thin
    like Twiggy or Tony Perkins

    sometimes you can fix something by just being fat
    like Greenstreet in "The Maltese Falcon"

    sometimes you can fix something by just being real
    ...versus imitation

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a fake
    invent your qualifications

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a quack
    you still might have a gift for healing

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a fraud
    look what that did for P T Barnum

    sometimes you can fix something by just playing God
    genetic manipulation

    sometimes you can fix something by just losing your voice
    |that hasn't hurt Bob Dylan

    sometimes you can fix something by just being rare
    tho you'll wind up in a museum

    sometimes you can fix something by just buying a ton
    some things are cheaper by the dozen

    sometimes you can fix something by just bending the rules
    cut 'em some slack, make an exception

    sometimes you can fix something by just being there
    there's nothing better than good timing

    sometimes you can fix something by not being there
    an alibi that can't be shaken

    sometimes you can fix something by just having some spunk
    over-come all tribulations

    sometimes you can fix something by just playing on the one and three
    how come white folks feel that rhythm?

    sometimes you can fix something by just wanting it all
    either/or are bad conjunctions

    sometimes you can fix something by being right-brained
    and good at pattern recognition

    sometimes you can fix something by being left-brained
    focused linear thinkin'

    sometimes you can fix something by just swinging that club
    sometimes ya gotta be a caveman

    sometimes you can fix something by just being unique
    defy categorization

    sometimes you can fix something by just blending in
    observe all local customs

    sometimes you can fix something by just fading away
    lose yourself in oblivion

    31 couplets contributed by CB - Back from lunch...:

    sometimes you can fix something by just thinking small
    i'm sure there's lots of good reasons

    sometimes you can fix something by just working for yourself
    not at some faceless corporation

    sometimes you can fix something by just knowing their sign
    I always fight with Sagittarians

    sometime you can fix something by just pleading the fifth
    avoiding self-incrimination

    sometimes you can fix something by just ordering two
    with extra cheese, pickles and onions

    sometimes you can fix something otium cum dignitate
    ya gotta know a little Latin

    sometimes you can fix something by just starting to preach
    with a timely Bibical quotation

    sometimes you can fix something by just spreading the good word
    convert the heathens and barbarians

    sometimes you can fix something by not starting to preach
    ain't got no time for Bible thumpin'

    sometimes you can fix something with a good nom de punk
    Armitage Shanks or Johnny Rotten

    sometimes you can fix something with just a grain of salt
    maintain a healthy skepticism

    sometimes you can fix something by just defining your terms
    eliminate confusion

    sometimes you can fix something by something something something
    i knew it once, but I've forgotten

    sometimes you can fix something by just rockin' the boat
    I'd like to know if you've got the notion

    sometimes you can fix something by just having a smoke
    nicotine is food, not an addiction

    sometimes you can fix something by just brewing some beans
    get some caffeine stimulation

    sometimes you can fix something by just knowing where ya are
    12 verses from the ending!

    sometimes you can fix something by just using your head
    go to experts, get opinions

    sometimes you can fix something by just being polite
    trust in reason and persuasion

    sometimes you can fix something by just leaving it alone
    let it stew in isolation

    sometimes you can fix something by just holding a grudge
    revenge is such a cool sensation

    sometimes you can fix something by just changing its name
    redefine the situation

    sometimes you can fix something by just running away
    avoid a messy confrontation

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking a stand
    but that's an awesome obligation

    sometimes you can fix something by just starting a war
    everybody at attention

    sometimes you can fix something by just dancing all night
    answers come out of exhaustion

    sometimes you can fix something by just telling a lie
    screw'em with mis-information

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking a walk
    take a break, take a vacation

    sometimes you can fix something by turning the other cheek
    that's what they tell ya in religion

    sometimes you can fix something by just ripping it apart
    maybe the damn thing wants attention

    sometimes you can fix something by just smacking it around
    it's a form of education

    sometimes you can fix something by just giving up...

    14 couplets contributed by Gary Pig Gold with John Huelbig:

    Sometimes you can fix something on just the first try,
    People will think that you're a magician

    Sometimes you can fix something by just cracking the whip,
    C'mon, get with the programme

    Sometimes you can fix something by just sitting by a lake,
    Restin peaceful meditation

    Sometimes you can fix something by just making a fist,
    There is a time for aggression

    Sometimes you can fix something by just knowing the way,
    To your final destination

    Sometimes you can fix something by just making your move,
    After careful preparation

    Sometimes you can fix something by just knowing what's what,
    It's all in rhubarb rhubarb

    Sometimes you can fix something by just having some style,
    An eye for a tasteful decoration

    Sometimes you can fix something by just going too far,
    Over-the-top exaggeration

    Sometimes you can fix something by just kerbing your dog,
    Shit on the sidewalk's just disgusting

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being a sneak,
    Become a matter of deception

    Sometimes you can fix something by not having the best,
    Too much of a good thing...

    Sometimes you can fix something by just saying, "No thanks,
    I decline the nomination"

    Sometimes you can fix something with just Vitamine,
    They say it's good for the complexion

    23 couplets contributed by The Cucumbers:

    Sometimes you can fix something by just taking a walk
    No need for conversation

    Sometimes you can fix something by dreaming with a friend
    Cosmic creative contemplation

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting it wet
    Changing the physical sensation

    Sometimes you can fix something by building it up
    With a bit of glue and duct tape

    You can fix something...

    Sometimes you can fix something by admitting it's a joke
    Even if it's not so very funny

    Sometimes you can fix something by admitting that it's broke
    And you're the one who broke it

    Sometimes you can fix something by admitting you're unaware
    And you're swimming in an ocean

    Sometimes you can fix something by admitting that you care
    It might be your greatest notion

    You can fix something...

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being a friend
    Sitting back and listening

    Sometimes you can fix something by making it end
    Start a new beginning...

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You can fix something...

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You can break something

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You can make something

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You can try something

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You can fry something

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You can buy something

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You can give something

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You can live something

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You can kiss something

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You can miss something

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You can know something

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You can show something

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You can fix something...

    26 couplets contributed by The Know-It-All Boyfriends:

    sometimes you can fix something by not changing a thing
    just redesign the carton

    sometimes you can fix something by just playing some golf
    get buddy-buddy with the big guns

    sometimes you can fix something by just traveling light
    rid yourself of your possessions

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a king
    declare it fixed by proclamation

    sometimes you can fix something with coffee and cigarettes
    the real breakfast of champions

    sometimes you can fix something by just learning how to swim
    pretend that you are Esther Williams

    sometimes you can fix something by just stealin' a boat
    then seek political asylum

    sometimes you can fix something by just splitting hairs
    point out the subtle distinctions

    sometimes you can fix something by just being right
    without fear of contradiction

    sometimes you can fix something by not being too right
    avoid self-righteous indignation

    sometimes you can fix something by just staying awake
    or you might miss something

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking a nap
    the elves will fix it while you're sleeping

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying "hi"
    greetings and salutations

    sometimes you can fix something by just being lost
    you'll go off in new directions

    sometimes you can fix something by just knowing the Mob
    sometimes it helps to be Sicilian

    sometimes you can fix something by just closing-up shop
    put up a sign that says "gone fishing"

    sometimes you can fix something by just picking up the tab
    snow 'em with a lavish luncheon

    sometimes you can fix something by just doing good work
    you've earned that adulation

    sometimes you can fix something by just being known
    someone who needs no introduction

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a star
    tho not like Norma Desmond

    sometimes you can fix something by just being clean
    and above all suspicion

    sometimes you can fix something by just filling your plate
    help yourself, go back for seconds

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a whore
    there're many kinds of prostitution

    sometimes you can fix something with eeny-meeny-miney-mo
    the process of elimination

    sometimes you can fix something by just knowing who was there
    guilty by association

    sometimes you can fix something by with AT and F1 enter
    reinitialize your modem

    28 couplets contributed by Michael Baker:

    sometimes you can fix something by just twisting an arm
    a little gentle convincing

    sometimes you can fix something by just sharing the chores
    i'll wash, if you'll do the drying

    sometimes you can fix something by just caring a lot
    attack your problem with a passion

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a square
    all squeaky clean and wholesome

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting a massage
    work the stress out of your system

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying "what if?"
    tickle your imagination

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying "so what?"
    maintain that spirit of rebellion

    sometimes you can fix something by just not paying your rent
    make the landlord fix the plumbin'

    sometimes you can fix something by just squashing it hard
    full compression, no depression

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting a second job
    earn a little extra income

    sometimes you can fix something by just being wry
    ironic juxtaposition

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting it fixed
    who needs this aggravation?

    sometimes you can fix something by just splitting for the Coast
    there's something magic 'bout the ocean

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting sick
    you might get cool hallucinations

    sometimes you can fix something with something out of the blue
    epiphanies and revelations

    sometimes you can fix something by just throwing a pie
    basic goofball entertainment

    sometimes you can fix something by just sharing your pain
    bore the world with your hurting

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying "I'm sorry"
    hope for some kind of absolution

    sometimes you can fix something by just paying with cash
    that's the way dodge the taxman

    sometimes you can fix something by just parking your dough
    in a bank in the Cayman Islands

    sometimes you can fix something with just a running gag
    that always worked for Monty Python

    sometimes you can fix something by just knowing what to expect
    like the Spanish Inquisition

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking some speed
    then cram for your examination

    sometimes you can fix something by just slowing down
    wait a minute, keep your shirt on

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a dump
    like most of Staten Island

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying "fuck you"
    America's real national anthem

    sometimes you can fix something by just being the same
    have lots of things in common

    sometimes you can fix something by just changing yourself
    with a nose job or liposuction

    sometimes you can fix something by just changing real fast
    adapt or face extinction

    0 couplets contributed by DETER CLAWMUTE AND ZIPPO BRECKENRIDGE:

    Sometimes you can fix something by throwing out a line
    Sometimes you can fix something by bailing it like twine
    Sometimes you can fix something by holding for yourself
    Sometimes you can fix something by helping someone else
    How long everybody going to wait in this line?
    Sometimes you can fix something by being on time

    Sometimes you can fix something by ‘ssembling all the parts
    Sometimes you can fix something by fumble fits and starts
    Sometimes you can fix something by standing on one leg
    Sometimes you can fix something by scrambling an egg
    All I need’s a dollar put some air in the tire
    I’d use the credit card but it’s expired

    Sometimes you can fix something by running through the hose
    Sometimes you can fix something by blowing your own nose
    Sometimes you can fix something by learning how to sneeze
    Sometimes you can fix something by waiting for the breeze
    I’ll leave the light on, I know you like it late
    Won’t be no soda pop, I never could relate

    Sometimes you can fix something by filling up a box
    Sometimes you can fix something by pelting it with rocks
    Sometimes you can fix something by standing in the sun
    Sometimes you can fix something by stealing back my gun
    Don’t forget to lie about your current situation
    Sometimes you can fix something by taking a vacation

    Sometimes you can fix something by taking off the lids
    Sometimes you can fix something by steering into skids
    Sometimes you can fix something by pretending you don’t know
    Sometimes you can fix something by puttin’ on a show
    Someday I’ll wander, comin’ back thru this town
    Sometimes you can fix something by never bein’ found

    32 couplets contributed by BRAD BOLTON:

    Sometimes you can fix something by having a meltdown
    I want a patty meltdown

    Sometimes you can fix something by not doing nothing
    Now that would really be something

    Sometimes you can fix something by running away
    Just be sure it doesn’t follow

    Sometimes you can fix something by calling the mouse king
    He would just think you’re nuts

    Sometimes you can fix something
    without even thinking

    Sometimes you can fix something
    without even drinking

    Sometimes you can fix something
    just try winking

    Sometimes you can fix something
    without even blinking

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    giving a nod

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    carrying a hod

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    showing your elation

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    blind adulation

    Sometimes you can fix something
    with teen infatuation

    Sometimes you can fix something
    with righteous indignation

    Sometimes you can fix something
    through trial and tribulation

    Sometimes you can fix something
    with a screaming angry nation

    Sometimes you can fix something by being an a-hole
    But you can’t fix nothin in this shithole country

    Sometimes you can fix something by turning it over
    over easy over easy ovaries

    Sometimes you can fix something while you’re still alive
    But it’s easier when you’re dead

    Sometimes you can fix something
    before you awake

    Sometimes you can fix something
    but then it’s too late

    Sometimes you can fix something
    by playing in the mud

    Sometimes you can fix something
    just talk like Elmer Fudd

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    wanting to screw 2 x 4s, together

    Sometimes you can fix something by driving a car
    just remember - stay out of baaars! (no texting no texting no texting)

    Sometimes you can fix something that’s already fixed
    do it over and over and over and over (fade into next line)

    Sometimes you can fix something by watching Fox News
    But I ain’t ever seen that happen

    Sometimes you can fix something, we’ll fix it in the mix
    Especially if we’re making muffins

    Sometimes you can fix something by changing baby’s diaper
    It’s so easy if you use a windshield wiper

    Sometimes you can fix something by blaming someone else
    But first you have to hide all the mirrors

    Sometimes you can fix something by eating all your veggies
    Just hide your cake and eat it, too

    Sometimes you can fix something if it’s not too late
    But you can crastinate, just like a pro.

    Sometimes you can fix something if it ever stops
    But this thing never does, it’s time to call the cops

    13 couplets contributed by CB - Radio Station ID Break:

    SOMETIMES YOU CAN FIX SOMETHING BY JUST GIVING YOUR LEGAL ID
    WE PAUSE FOR STATION IDENTIFICATION…

    sometimes you can fix something by being a good boss
    not one of those modern venal strivers

    sometimes you can fix something by just being dependent
    on the kindness of strangers

    sometimes you can fix something by getting your PhD.
    tho that won’t help ya flipping burgers

    sometimes you can fix something by just making that call
    you might already be a winner

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a thief
    lots of art's appropriation

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying it's art
    the essence of Duchampism

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a thief
    lots of good ideas are stolen

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting caught
    then go thru rehabilitation

    sometimes you can fix something by just learning to type
    have a skill you can fall back on

    sometimes you can fix something by not learning to type
    who needs carpal tunnel syndrome?

    sometimes you can fix something with just more oomph
    zizz-up the schmutz with zotz and gookum

    sometimes you can fix something with still more oomph
    just get yourself a bigger engine

    16 couplets contributed by Mick Hargreaves:

    Sometimes you can fix something by turning it on
    Please maintain a safe distance…

    Sometimes you can fix something by shutting it off
    Cool down that hot machine, boy

    Sometimes you can fix something by hitting it hard
    Please pass the persuasion tool

    Sometimes you can fix something by doing nothing at all
    Monitor the situation

    Sometimes you can fix something by staying awake
    You're gonna need some coffee…

    Sometimes you can fix something by going to sleep
    But then you lay awake all night…

    Sometimes you can fix something by not being a flake
    Ninety percent of life is showing up (Woody Allen)

    Sometimes you can fix something by being total flake
    Ninety percent of life is not showing up

    Sometimes you can fix something by faking disinterest
    That's passive-aggressive

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting it used
    Like at Salvation Armani

    Sometimes you can fix something by thrown' in the towel
    Please put it in the hamper, dear

    Sometimes you can fix something by using ALL CAPS
    Escalation is essential

    Sometimes you can fix something by turning up the bass
    That always works for bass players

    Sometimes you can fix something by reversing the phase
    Not just the phase you're going through

    Sometimes you can fix something by asking the producer
    I don't know, what do you think?

    Sometimes you can fix something by adding lots of vocals
    Just keep it interesting

    0 couplets contributed by Ralph Carney - turkish:

    None!

    1 couplets contributed by Bill Janoff:

    sometimes you can fix something by just freakin’ out
    just going Breeeep!$#$@%$#^%$&^&$&*arrrrheeeepht!

    15 couplets contributed by MISSILE TOE:

    Sometimes you can fix something by saying “Merry Christmas”
    And “Happy New Year”

    Sometimes you can fix something by rockin’ out with Missile Toe
    Hung where you can see

    Sometimes you can fix something with tinsel and garland
    On an aluminum tree

    Sometimes you can fix something with cards and presents
    Sugar plum fairy dreams

    Sometimes you can fix something by dashing through the snow
    In a one-horse open sleigh

    Sometimes you can fix something by o're the fields we go
    Laughing all the way

    Sometimes you can fix something by making cookies with Grandma
    Decorating the tree

    Sometimes you can fix something with a letter to Santa
    Wish list fantasy

    Sometimes you can fix something by singing like an angel in a choir
    With reindeer socks

    Sometimes you can fix something by setting fire to the Yule log
    With a hot cup of cocoa

    Sometimes you can fix something by building a snowman
    On a bright Winter day

    Sometimes you can fix something by throwing a snowball
    And running away

    Sometimes you can fix something by jumping on Rosebud
    Sledding down a hill

    Sometimes you can fix something by wassailing in the early night
    Underneath a star and Christmas lights

    Sometimes you can fix something with a candy cane, the songs you sing
    Joy to the world you bring

    Sometimes you can fix something with 12 drummers drumming
    And 5 golden rings

    12 couplets contributed by Claudia Chopek and New Retro Strings featuring Ward White:

    sometimes you can fix something by failing to arrive
    absence makes the heart grow fonder

    sometimes you can fix something by just waking away
    but then you always have to wonder

    sometimes you can fix something with a brutal show of force
    riot gear, tear gas and batons

    sometimes you can fix something with democracy
    but committee thinking gives us sitcoms

    sometimes you can fix something by not taking your pill
    it’s a safety net: medication

    sometimes you can fix something by taking all the pills
    nothing quite so dull as desperation

    sometimes you can fix something by just being born
    another screaming mouth. awh who’ll feed them?

    sometimes you can fix something by passing away
    the stupid with no blind to lead them

    sometimes you can fix something by yanking the tooth
    well he’s a dentist, not a doctor

    sometimes you can fix something by letting it decay
    keep it hid behind a locked door

    sometimes you can fix something by burning it to the ground
    well, a phoenix rose up from the ashes

    sometimes you can fix something by losing what you found
    that bird could be a monster if it hatches

    20 couplets contributed by Keith Allison:

    Sometimes you can fix something by listening to the Ginger Geezer,
    Explore the canyons of your mind, old chap

    Sometimes you can fix something by burning down the house,
    But just make sure you have insurance

    Sometimes you can fix something by playing Blonde on Blonde,
    Sooner or later one of us must know

    Sometimes you can fix something by just cutting a rug,
    Step up and trip the light fantastic

    Sometimes you can fix something by just opening your mind,
    Just make sure that your brains don't fall out

    Sometimes you can fix something by just changing your name,
    Give yourself the name you've always wanted

    Sometimes you can fix something by just looking the part,
    All dressed up and nowhere to go

    Sometimes you can fix something by barking up the wrong tree,
    The answer's where you least expect it

    Sometimes you can fix something by just biting the bullet,
    What doesn't kill us makes us stronger

    Sometimes you can fix something by playing like Billy Ficca,
    Move to the beat of a different drummer

    Sometimes you can fix something by jumping on the bandwagon,
    Pretend you liked them before they were famous

    Sometimes you can fix something by just looking before you leap,
    Make sure the ground is still beneath you

    Sometimes you can fix something by just using sleight of hand,
    Also called prestidigitation

    Sometimes you can fix something by keeping your sense of proportion,
    Don't make a mountain from a mole hill

    Sometimes you can fix something by just taking charge,
    Just say, "It's my way or the highway"

    Sometimes you can fix something by just reading between the lines,
    Work out what they are really saying

    Sometimes you can fix something by just fine tuning,
    No need to reinvent the wheel, there

    Sometimes you can fix something by running it up the flagpole,
    Stand back and see who salutes it

    Sometimes you can fix something by shaking hands with the wife's best friend,
    Go to the bathroom in Australia

    Sometimes you can fix something by taking your mind off it,
    You know a watched pot never boils

    16 couplets contributed by COREY JENKINS:

    Sometimes you can fix something by leaving it be
    But you never learned that lesson

    Sometimes you can fix something with X, Y, and Z
    But you're stuck on A, B, and C

    Sometimes you can fix something by just saying please
    Maybe try to break a smile

    Sometimes you can fix something if you just agree
    Try to widen your perspective

    Sometimes you can fix something by planting a tree
    But you threw out all the seeds

    Sometimes you can fix something with help from Staci
    But you never got her number

    Sometimes you can fix something with carrots and peas
    Too bad you won't eat your veggies

    Sometimes you can fix something by scraping your knees
    Learn to let yourself fall down

    Sometimes you can fix something with endless pleas
    And maybe pizza as incentive

    Sometimes you can fix something with a different set of keys
    But you can't remember where you left them

    Sometimes you can fix something by petting your kitty
    But you left the front door open

    Sometimes you can fix something if one and one made three
    Too bad it's two and thats for certain

    Sometimes you can fix something with honey from the bees
    You've been stung too many times

    Sometimes you can fix something with love from sweet Katie
    When is she coming back from Boston?

    Sometimes you can fix something with a shot of whiskey
    And a double vodka chaser

    Sometimes you can fix something if you would just leave
    But you never learned how to take a hint

    7 couplets contributed by Joe Howell:

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    looking at it differently, look at it from this side

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    holding up a family from your inside

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    having day dreams on a car ride, looking cross-eyed

    Sometimes you can fix something
    falling asleep, but it's easier to die

    Sometimes you can fix something
    calling the shots

    lift up the hood, hand me the tool
    gotta think hard, gotta look cool

    Sometimes you can fix something
    by making it up

    15 couplets contributed by Ed Seifert:

    Sometimes you can fix something by just painting it black,
    Just like the Rolling Stones did

    Sometimes you can fix something by cutting each other some slack,
    Treat 'em like they were you own kid

    Sometimes you can fix something by just casting a vote,
    For a proud and grateful nation

    Sometimes you can fix something by just calling your dad,
    He'll get you the nomination

    Sometimes you can fix something by adding up some sums,
    That might solve all your conumdrums

    Sometimes you can fix something by banging on a drum,
    Say "Hello" to Todd Rundgren

    Sometimes you can fix something by just changing the beat,
    And find yourself some syncopation

    Sometimes you can fix something by just dragging your feet,
    And exhibit hesitation

    Sometimes you can fix something by asking, "What would Jesus do?",
    And accept your crucifixion

    Sometimes you can fix something by asking, "What would Elvis do?"
    And shoot a hole in your television

    Sometimes you can fix something by just swinging rhubarb,
    And stick it to that cocky Russian

    Sometimes you can fix something by not hitting your head,
    And that's how you avoid concussions

    Sometimes you can fix something by just making ends meet,
    Rhubarb rhubarb Madonna

    Sometimes you can fix something by finding a new spot,
    Rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb orange

    Sometimes you can fix something by just admitting there's not
    Any word that rhymes with orange

    16 couplets contributed by Kramer:

    sometimes you can fix something by just holding court
    like Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin

    sometimes you can fix something if things just go right
    no unexpected complications

    sometimes you can fix something by just making a deal
    enter in negotiations

    sometimes you can fix something by just telling a shrink
    your phobias and fixations

    sometimes you can fix something by just staging a coup
    a bloody act of liberation

    sometimes you can fix something by just playing the long shot
    tho that's a risky proposition

    sometimes you can fix something by just knowing the odds
    then make an accurate prediction

    sometimes you can fix something by just hedging your bets
    avoid a reckless speculation

    sometimes you can fix something by just flipping a coin
    heads you lose, tails I win

    sometimes you can fix something by releasing it "as is"
    de-bug it in a later version

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying "I'll pass"
    an act of self-preservation

    sometimes you can fix something by just makin' it up
    everything is fiction

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting bought out
    if they can meet your stipulations

    sometimes you can fix something by just mnusy lkspek lknaoi
    yeah...i gotta work on my diction

    sometimes you can fix something by just dropping a beat
    are you still listening?

    sometimes you can fix something by playing on the roof
    “Oi ‘ope we’ve passed the audition”

    4 couplets contributed by Malcolm Marsden:

    Sometimes you can fix something with a paper and pen,
    But please don't bring your lawyer

    Sometimes you can fix something by conniving with friends,
    And pulling a Tom Sawyer

    Sometimes you can fix something by kissing a ring,
    But you'll incur some obligations

    Sometimes you can fix something by, oh...making it up,
    Call the United Nations



    89 couplets contributed by Verne Davis:

    Sometimes you can fix something by building a machine
    A mean machine to start world domination

    Sometimes you can fix something by just eating a peach
    The Allman Brothers help cure constipation

    Sometimes you can fix something by cutting your band in half
    And giving yourself more room for stage gyration

    Sometimes you can fix something by putting up yellow tape
    Protect the crime scene from contamination

    Sometimes you can fix something by banging on a tree
    But only in a Sasquatch habitation

    Sometimes you can fix something by eating some beef jerky
    And rousing up some Sasquatch irritation

    Sometimes you can fix something by reading Sigmund Freud
    And learning about the future of illusion

    Sometimes you can fix something by quoting Sigmund Freud
    A cigar says nothing about your protrusion

    Sometimes you can fix something by just fetching a stick
    When it’s dog-eat-dog a perfect occupation

    Sometimes you can fix something by just calling in sick
    Keep them guessing about your dedication

    Sometimes you can fix something by just fixing a thing
    Ain’t no need for crass specification

    Sometimes you can fix something by just naming a thing
    Some call it nominalization

    Sometimes you can fix something by just taking a bath
    Some lowly form of self-purification

    Sometimes you can fix something by just skinning a cat
    BeBop fans are into mutilation

    Sometimes you can get fix something by getting a new tattoo
    A drunken choice can show your dedication

    Sometimes you can fix something by turning to channel two
    And Get some gifts for making a donation

    Sometimes you can fix something by just wearing a shirt
    Slogans are a pure communication

    Sometimes you can fix something by just drinking some wort
    A brewer’s joke for your edification [Look it up!]

    Sometimes you can fix something by just spinning your wheels
    A gravel shower will get all their attention

    Sometimes you can fix something by just cooling your heels
    Give yourself some after-school detention

    Sometimes you can fix something by stealing a good riff
    Thumb your nose at legal litigation

    Sometimes you can fix something by being a knif
    And bastardize the real pronunciation

    Sometimes you can fix something by being locked up in jail
    A good defense in case of accusation

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting out on bail
    And avoiding any further penetration

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being crude
    But blame it on a lack of medication

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being booed
    And avoid all forms of pointless adulation

    Sometimes you can fix something by throwing in your hat
    As long as you don’t want the nomination

    Sometimes you can fix something by just saying you’re fat
    Admit your body’s an abomination

    Sometimes you can fix something by going back to school
    Make your mother proud at graduation

    Sometimes you can fix something by stopping being cool
    And being part of that de-evolution

    Sometimes you can fix something by being too obscure
    So join in the post-modern revolution

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being a fool
    And lowering all senseless expectations

    Sometimes you can fix something by making a new rule
    Like no stuttering while singing My Generation

    Sometimes you can fix something by spanking your own ass
    I don’t know why it’s just my own perversion

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being an ass
    And doing odd things to create a diversion

    Sometimes you can fix something by not going on-line
    Facebook can become a sad obsession

    Sometimes you can fix something by just going on line
    And selling all your most precious possessions

    Sometimes you can fix something by just having a smoke
    And bothering people with your self-destruction

    Sometimes you can fix something by joining in a joke
    And hoping you make the cut in the production

    Sometimes you can fix something by just growing old
    But not that cheerleader infatuation

    Sometimes you can fix something by doing what you’re told
    Restraining orders help resist cheerleader infatuation

    Sometimes you can fix something by talking to yourself
    But hope you don’t have a self-obsession

    Sometimes you fix something by gaining a lot of wealth
    A jet ski is a cure for most depression

    Sometimes you can fix something by just getting ‘er done
    Sleeveless shirts and ball cap fascination

    Sometimes you can fix something by being number one
    And showing your foam finger digitation

    Sometimes you can fix something by eating your head
    As long as you have proper marination

    Sometimes you can fix something by eating all the dead
    Geneva would love that strict regulation

    Sometimes you can fix something by growing your own food
    Though Organic is a silly designation

    Sometimes you fix something by growing you own brood
    Though nothing’s worse than reckless procreation

    Sometimes you can fix something by writing a good line
    But moon in June just lacks imagination

    Sometimes you can fix something by just taking your time
    Ignore all insults of procrastination

    Sometimes you can fix something by just repeating a line
    But moon in June just lacks imagination

    Sometimes you can fix something by just repeating a line
    Redundancy can prove imagination

    Sometimes you fix something by just chanting a chant
    And slip into a mystic transformation

    Sometimes you can fix something by reading Emmanuel Kant
    Though those Germans seemed to hate the Jewish nation

    Sometimes you can fix something by wearing a spandex suit
    A simple form of body modification

    Sometimes you can fix something just taking a toot
    Cocaine helped Californication

    Sometimes you can fix something by just giving a hoot
    Pollution is a global degradation

    Sometimes you can fix something by taking off your pants
    Randy Newman is a fucking genius

    Sometimes you can fix something by just refusing to rhyme
    Randy Newman is still a fucking genius

    Sometimes you can fix something by turning your clocks back
    Though DST is such a pointless mission

    Sometimes you can fix something by just shutting up
    Since DST is such a firm tradition

    Sometime you can fix something by carrying all the weight
    The world upon your shoulders shows conviction

    Sometimes you can fix something by giving in to hate
    And buying in to paranoid prediction

    Sometimes you can fix something by blessing all the meek
    The world will be their promised inheritance

    Sometimes you fix something by acting like a geek
    A chicken’s head will be make up your sustenance

    Sometimes you can fix something by striking up a flame
    Encores now will only need a cell phone

    Sometimes you can fix something by taking on the blame
    Nothing good will ever involve a cell phone

    Sometimes you can fix something by driving in your car
    Your mileage will predict your destination

    Sometimes you can fix something by sleeping in your car
    Some people claim it’s their habitation

    Sometimes you can fix something by doing it in the road
    The truth will help advance your reputation

    Sometimes you can fix something by taking it all slow
    Unless like me you hate blues-ification

    Sometimes you can fix something by staying in 4/4
    And saying no to cliché syncopation

    Sometimes you can fix something by just seeing a shrink
    And getting over all your sad fixations

    Sometimes you can fix something by having another think
    Why was Freud obsessed with cigars?

    Sometimes you can fix something by coming to the end
    Admit it’s just a fictionalization

    Sometimes you can fix something by seriousing-up your voice
    And waiting for some form of validation

    Sometimes you fix something by just making a fist
    Remembering the Kent assassinations

    Sometimes you can fix something by reading off a list
    Like all the 9/11 commemorations

    Sometimes you can fix something by crying yourself to sleep
    And hope you find sort of absolution

    Sometimes you can fix something by pampering yourself
    Pay attention to your morning abalutions

    Sometime you can fix something by sitting on a fence
    And hope that gravity will give direction

    Sometimes you can fix something by shouting out a name
    And hope that name will call up past affections

    Sometimes you can fix something by just reading a book
    I recommend Swami Vivekanda

    Sometimes you can fix something by just getting a pet
    Though I don’t recommend an anaconda

    Sometimes you can fix something by looking out the window
    Write a song without participation

    Sometimes you can fix something by locking all your doors
    But only if you’re hoping for stagnation

    Sometimes you can fix something by staring at the wall
    A blank screen can be an inspiration

    Sometimes you can fix something by hearing the siren’s call
    But only if you ignore their navigation

    Sometimes you can fix something by saying enough’s enough
    Like I’m saying now………….

    12 couplets contributed by Tyler Zahnke:

    Sometimes you can fix something by watching a 3D movie,
    You'll say, "I can't believe it!"

    Sometimes you can fix something just by givine out a loud shriek,
    just like rhubarb rhubarb

    Sometimes you can fix something just by checking your e-mail,
    Hope you don't get any spam

    Sometimes you can fix something by eating some lunch meat,
    Baloney, turkey or ham

    Sometimes you can fix something just by learning how to program,
    html or javascript

    Sometimes you can listen to ambient music,
    See for yourself rhubarb

    Sometimes you can fix something just by sampling tapes,
    Just like rhubarb rhubarb

    Sometimes you can fix something by larking around vocally,
    Like a big-time fool-o

    Sometimes you can fix something just by eating dessert,
    A pie, a cookie or a cake

    Sometimes you can fix something just by eating some meat,
    In the form of plain or shake'n'bake

    Sometimes you can fix something just by listening to heavy metal,
    Make sure it doesn't blow your ears out

    Sometimes you can fix something just by listening to classical music,
    when you put the lights out

    0 couplets contributed by Bob Waltz:

    Sometimes you can fix something by fixing it twice
    then give up altogether

    Sometimes you can fix something by going fishing
    Sometimes you just need to fish

    Sometimes you can fix something by leaving it alone
    Everything will work if you let it

    Sometimes you can fix something in your dreams
    Let your brain do all the work

    Sometimes you can fix something by using a lamp cord
    Tied neatly around your neck

    Sometimes you can fix something with a bottle of beer
    Or three or five or seven

    Sometimes you can fix something by ignoring it
    Maybe it will go away

    Sometimes you can fix something with 3 lbs of nails
    You get to pound the shit out of something

    Sometimes you can fix something by climbing the walls
    Be sure to bring a ladder

    Sometimes you can fix something by staring it in the face
    But not a gorilla

    Sometimes you can fix something by Driving around
    In some one else's car

    Sometimes you can fix something by pissing in the wind
    Be sure to bring an umbrella

    Sometimes you can fix something by killing the messenger
    It was probably bad news anyway

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being there
    No one ever stays present

    Sometimes you can fix something by listening to the wind
    I heard the answers in their a'blowin

    Sometimes you can fix something by going to sea
    All rivers and streams lead there

    Sometimes you can fix something with a banjo string
    A lot of strength for it's size

    Sometimes you can fix something by climbing inside
    Hard to judge something by it's cover

    Sometimes you can fix something by saying hello
    Nice to meet cha'

    Sometimes you can fix something by taking it apart
    And then just put it back together

    Sometimes you can fix something by smacking it twice
    Or dropping it on the floor

    Sometimes you can fix something by fixing yourself
    Turns out it was you that was broken

    3 couplets contributed by johnBfree:

    Sometimes you can fix something using WikiLeaks
    You might even get to be President

    Sometimes you can fix something by saying crazy shit
    Putting people in a frenzy

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting in its way
    Just don’t call it obstruction

    Sometimes you can fix something by working with your friend
    Just don’t call it collusion

    Sometimes you can fix something but just moving on
    But they might call you a coward

    Sometimes you can fix something by holding your ground
    Putting it all on your shoulders

    Sometimes you can fix something by using sworn enemies
    Let them do all the digging

    Sometimes you can fix something by blowing something up
    But it will leave your ears ringing

    3 couplets contributed by R. Stevie Moore:

    Sometimes you can break something by just being a prick
    Winning by intimidation.

    Sometimes you can break something by just lifting your skirt
    Look out for the tortoise.

    Carry on, carry on

    Sometimes you can break something by just putting your hand out
    Look into the dictionary




    27 couplets contributed by Bob Gaulke:

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying you're wrong
    even when you don't mean it

    sometimes you can fix something by doing yoga
    getting close to sweaty women

    sometimes you can fix something by talking to the dog
    walking doesn't solve the problem

    sometimes you can fix something Skype-ing with your mom
    for a nicer set of problems

    sometimes you can fix something by just passing out
    rebooting all major functions

    sometimes you can fix something by eating Brussels sprouts
    there's quality of life in Belgium

    sometimes you can fix something by paying for lunch
    those sprouts were expensive

    sometimes you can fix something by just showing up
    your presence makes an impact

    sometimes you can fix something by moving out of town
    pulling a minor geographic

    sometimes you can fix something burning in the sun
    shriveling up like bacon

    sometimes you can fix something freezing in the dark
    cheap flights to Iceland

    sometimes you can fix something curled in a ball
    take the fetal position

    sometimes you can fix something riding the bus
    context is everything

    sometimes you can fix something getting very lost
    in a foreign country

    sometimes you can fix something by ignoring the cost
    money doesn't change anything

    Sometimes you can fix something by just running away
    making up the explanation

    Sometimes you can fix something by shooting at the stars
    burning up the "B" plan

    Sometimes you can fix something by falling out of love
    seeing other trees in the forest

    Sometimes you can fix something by soaking in the tub
    Scrubbing at sticky objects

    Sometimes you can fix something by staying where you are
    Going with the worlds rotation

    Sometimes you can fix something by taking the subway
    avoiding all surface tension

    Sometimes you can fix something by reading history
    getting context for your problems

    Sometimes you can fix something with Indian poetry
    a.k. Ramanujan in particular

    Sometimes you can fix something by declaring victory
    don't you know we gotta war on

    Sometimes you can fix something by savoring defeat
    humility makes us human

    Sometimes you can fix something by sleeping with a snake
    it's nice under a heat lamp

    Sometimes you can fix something by embracing what you hate
    karma comes in flavors of instant

    20 couplets contributed by The Quarter Cleveland Trio:

    Sometimes you can fix something by writing it in cursive
    So at least the line looks elegant

    Sometimes you can fix something and sometimes you can't
    Tigers shouldn't try to ride elephants

    Sometimes you can fix something by total disassembly
    And break it again once it's back together

    Sometimes you can fix something by pulling out your hair in large tufts
    But not baldness

    Sometimes you can fix something by trying to look cool
    But not vanity

    Sometimes you can fix something by developing a scientific cure
    More than you can by monetizing it

    Sometimes you can fix something by remembering the correct bid
    Damnit! What do I bid here?

    Sometimes you can fix something just by dreaming of something else
    That step back can really make things clear

    Sometimes you can fix something before it fixes you
    So keep your ears to the ground and look around too

    Sometimes you can fix something by breeding out iffy traits
    For a nicer set of pearly whites and sprightlier gaits

    Sometimes you can fix something before they run the race
    Unless old Hard Hoof loses a shoe and comes in last place

    Sometimes you can fix something by running from the bookie
    Unless he runs into you and rearranges your face

    Sometimes you can fix something with a Q-tip and alcohol
    But don't eat them in that order

    Sometimes you can fix something just by taking it to The Guy
    Thank god there's The Guy

    Sometimes you can fix something when the rights parts finally arrive
    Where the hell is UPS??

    Sometimes you can fix something by putting an egg back in its nest
    That legend about the tainted human scent is total B.S.

    Sometimes you can fix something just by wishing and praying hard enough
    Just kidding

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being just
    Liberty is always balanced

    Sometimes you can fix something by eating a sub
    Good nutrition’s overrated

    Sometimes you can fix something by just penciling in
    Working up a few ideas

    17 couplets contributed by Keith Allison:

    Sometimes you can fix something by playing chess with Death
    not going gentle into that good night

    Sometimes you can fix something by playing an LP
    You know that vinyl sounds much better

    Sometimes you can fix something by making a pot of tea
    With milk or lemon to complete it

    Sometimes you can fix something by just using the click track
    No need to keep the count in your head

    Sometimes you can fix something by quoting Oscar Wilde,
    "There is no sin except stupidity"

    Sometimes you can fix something by losing your way,
    That's when the unexpected happens

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting a Brand New Bag,
    Just like the Godfather of Soul did

    Sometimes you can fix something by not holding back,
    Throwing all caution to the winds

    Sometimes you can fix something by just hanging back,
    Let someone else stand in the spotlight

    Sometimes you can fix something by talking in blank verse
    Make life a tragedy by Shakespeare

    Sometimes you can fix something by sleeping in the day,
    Go out all night and paint the town red

    Sometimes you can fix something by working like Joe Meek,
    Record the drummer in the bathroom

    Sometimes you can fix something by just turning it off,
    Then switch it right back on again

    Sometimes you can fix something by waiting 'till they're relaxed,
    Set up a false sense of security

    Sometimes you can fix something by talking like a pirate
    Don't let them think that you're a bilge rat

    Sometimes you can fix something by trying to be the best
    Play the guitar like Richard Thompson

    Sometimes you can fix something by talking like Michael Caine
    "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"

    0 couplets contributed by FLAtRich:

    sometimes you can fix something by just shooting it into space

    magnetic ships will carry us
    to Level 5
    where everyone lives happily
    in celestial harmony
    just floating there among the
    spheres in Level 5
    but down on Earth
    in Belly Rave where cats and
    rats eat better than
    outlaws, outcasts and gypsy
    orphans, left alone,
    like atomic waste,
    to break down
    in a million years.
    back to The Dark Ages for
    you stupid magicians:
    professors of absolute
    certainty and greed.
    crumbling dead flowers:
    power turned off forever!
    our gentle intellect will save us
    on Level 5.
    where scientists work hand in hand
    perfecting modern man
    magnetic ships will ferry us
    to Level 5.

    4 couplets contributed by The Byzan Tones:

    sometimes you can fix some thing by playing a buzuki
    if you make the rhythm hard and the melody real spooky

    you’ll learn the truth of which philosophers have spoken
    stop trying to fix the world and learn to love it broken

    sometimes you can fix something with your baghlama vaiki
    and if you play real good, I’ll dance a zembegaiki

    that is to dance where every step is your invention
    and you honor your mistake as your hidden intention

    17 couplets contributed by Jim Turner:

    Sometimes you can fix something by riding on a road,
    Get out a hot rod engine and you got a heavy load

    Sometimes you can walk something and fix it on the street,
    You can feel that sidewalk coming up and it talks your beat

    Sometimes you can fix something by climbing up a tree,
    Climbing up through the sensitive trembling leaves, you and me

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting on that couch,
    Talking to that psychiatrist I said, "I got problems that'll make you say ouch"

    Sometimes you can fix something by going down to the store,
    I have a lot of conversations with people down there and that's why I want to go back some more

    Sometimes you can fix something by touching yourself just right,
    Gotta touch myself and I wanna touch you with me tonight

    Sometimes you can fix something by taking that wrench up and turn,
    Man, I got the heavy load in the hammer now and rhubarb

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting out on the floor,
    I wanna jump around with the lights turned down crying, "More!" "More!" "More!"

    Sometimes you can fix something by bumping to the beat,
    Gotta get in touch with that primordial zone from your head down to your feet

    Sometimes you can fix something by just letting go,
    Gotta say I've got a hot-rod motor, got a heavy load

    Sometimes you can fix something by going, "Ah, ah-ah-ahhh!",
    Sometimes you can fix something by going, "Oh, oh-oohhh!"

    Sometimes you can fix something by just breathing deep,
    Feel the rhythm coursing from you from your bottom to your feet

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting out, going fast,
    Downshift this thing Baby, turning left, going down to the last

    Sometimes you can fix something by riding in a train,
    I've been all over the country, Baby, and IU don't think I'll be back again

    Sometimes you can fix something by meditating real deep,
    Found that connection to that place where I was deep in my sleep

    Sometimes you can fix something when you're driving in your car,
    Just like Bob Dylan said, you could be playing your cigar

    Sometimes you can fix something by being the boss rhubarb,
    That's when Jemes Brown pull it up rhubarb

    Sometimes you can fix something by breaking a couple of twigs,
    Put 'em in this here recording studio and rhubarb

    Sometimes you can fix something by just letting go,
    I'm mainly known for the things I never say and don't even know

    0 couplets contributed by Ralph Carney - horns:

    undecipherable!

    23 couplets contributed by Mrs. Irene Elizabeth Butler:

    sometimes you can fix something by just being possessed
    by parasitic aliens

    sometimes you can fix something by just being attacked
    by an interstellar infestation

    sometimes you can fix something by having an evil twin
    oh...that one

    sometimes you can fix something by traveling in time
    escape into the 4th dimension

    sometimes you can fix something with any of the above
    all cheesy Star Trek plot inventions

    sometimes you can fix something by just willing it fixed
    they really study this at Princeton

    sometimes you can fix something by just knowing your roots
    my ethnic background is suburban

    sometimes you can fix something by just wearing a hat
    a derby or a turban

    sometimes you can fix something with a better rhyme than that
    believe me, I'm trying

    sometimes you can fix everything with a smart drummer
    tho that's an oxymoron

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a spud
    the truth about de-evolution

    sometimes you can fix something by always landing on your feet
    just like Buster Keaton

    sometimes you can fix something by just ordering out
    Cantonese, Hunan or Schezuan

    sometimes you can fix something by just listing your strengths
    also too many to mention

    sometimes you can fix something by just listing your faults
    is that an ego deflating?

    sometimes you can fix something with just some flower tops
    chamomile or echinacea

    sometimes you can fix something by just changing your blood
    flush out all those toxins

    sometimes you can fix something by just going “boom”
    that’s supposed to be an explosion

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying “what’s goin’ on?”
    stop all this commotion

    sometimes you can fix something by saying “excuse me, dear”
    “pass the suntan lotion”

    sometimes you can fix something by staring off into space
    dreams are the mother of creation

    sometimes you can fix something by going overseas
    but what's the point of Belgium?

    sometimes you can fix something by just thinking big
    that's a strategy for winning

    19 couplets contributed by Maiku:

    Sometimes you can fix something by giving it one more try,
    I don't know what they say about the fourth time

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being up front with it,
    some of these lyrics aren't gonna rhyme

    Sometimes you can fix something by going to a bar,
    but only drink in moderation

    Sometimes you can fix something by not going to a bar,
    you're prone to inebriation

    Sometimes you can fix something by going up an octave
    and pretend that you are Sting

    Sometimes you can fix something by just talking in a whisper, not
    everyone needs to know everything

    Sometimes you can fix something by not trying to sing,
    plain talking is probably your best bet

    Sometimes you can fix something by setting the record straight,
    the song "Bitch" is by Meredith Brooks, not Alanis Morrisette

    Sometimes you can fix something by just taking charge,
    especially if you don't believe in fate

    Sometimes you can fix something by patting yourself on the back, but
    did I really help overturn Prop 8?

    Sometimes you can fix something by hiding underground,
    save yourself from the apocalypse

    Sometimes you can fix something by staying above ground, all the
    nutjobs and worrywarts are hiding now, let's celebrate!

    Sometimes you can't fix something, so you just say "To hell with it!",
    go buy a replacement

    Sometimes you can fix something by striking out on your own, you don't
    wanna live in your parent's basement

    Sometimes you can fix something by just asking for help,
    I wanna know what girls like, I wanna know what they want

    Sometimes you can fix something by just being immature,
    NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH, NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH!

    Sometimes you can fix something by acting real mature,
    know when it's time to get serious

    Sometimes you can fix something by just trailing off,
    because...well...um...delirious

    Sometimes you can fix something by just sticking around,
    you never know when you'll be needed

    Sometimes you can fix something by not sticking around,
    that's it, go on, beat it

    90 couplets contributed by Chris Butler:

    sometimes you can fix something by just building a ramp
    if you have the inclination!

    sometimes you can fix something by just sitting around
    ideas come from relaxation

    sometimes you can fix something by just blowing it up
    the world reacts to provocation

    sometimes you can fix something by just takin' it slow
    our culture loves procrastination

    sometimes you can fix something by just hurrying up
    we worship instant solutions

    sometimes you can fix something by just looking away
    Zen Buddhist in-attention

    sometimes you can fix something with just a mistake
    don't get too hung-up on perfection

    sometimes you can fix something by just doing it right
    craftsmanship requires precision

    sometimes you can fix something with total control
    aim for global domination

    sometimes you can fix something by just playing along
    give 'em enough rope to hang 'em

    sometimes you can fix something by just working like hell
    that will not hurt your reputation

    sometimes you can fix something by not working too hard
    burn-out is a real problem

    sometimes you can fix something by just having faith
    sometimes miracles can happen

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying a prayer
    wait for divine intervention

    sometimes you can fix something by just trusting your luck
    roll them bones and see what happens

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a cheat
    mastermind the final outcome

    sometimes you can fix something by just being tough
    ya gotta learn ta take rejection

    sometimes you can fix something by just being scared
    heroes never seem to live long

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking a class
    learn new techniques, new information

    sometimes you can fix something by just building a wall
    there's such a thing as too much freedom

    sometimes you can fix something by tightening your belt
    learn to live within restrictions

    sometimes you can fix something by just busting loose
    don't let 'em squish your self-expression

    sometimes you can fix something by just shutting up
    let someone smarter do the talking

    sometimes you can fix something by just coming in last
    but wait 'til next season

    sometimes you can fix something by just holding out
    wear away the opposition

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a fool
    innocence trumps sophistication

    sometimes you can fix something by just knowing the law
    when they try and pull a fast one

    sometimes you can fix something by just screening your calls
    they're always tryin' ta sell ya somethin’

    sometimes you can fix something by just washing your hands
    eliminate contamination

    sometimes you can fix something by just wearing a mask
    sometimes it's best ta keep 'em guessing

    sometimes you can fix something by just going to hell
    pave it with the best intentions

    sometimes you can fix something by just telling all
    exorcize your deepest demons

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying "no"
    take an intractable position

    sometimes you can fix something by just saying "yes"
    if they can meet all your conditions

    sometimes you can fix something with just the right spin
    make 'em question what they're seeing

    sometimes you can fix something by just changing your mind
    there's nothing wrong with indecision

    sometimes you can fix something by just building a fort
    hunker down for the duration

    sometimes you can fix something by just changing sides
    if you can't beat 'em...join 'em

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting laid
    orgasm releases tension

    sometimes you can fix something by just jacking off
    you can't get AIDS from masturbation

    sometimes you can fix something by just getting drunk
    a cure for mental constipation

    sometimes you can fix something by just having one drink
    everything in moderation

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking the heat
    or get out of the kitchen

    sometimes you can fix something by just passing the buck
    blame it on another person

    sometimes you can fix something by just turning around
    try a mid-course correction

    sometimes you can fix something by just trying to cope
    with patience, tact and stoicism

    sometimes you can fix something by just starting to cry
    people can't take raw emotions

    sometimes you can fix something by running from your past
    join the French Foreign Legion

    sometimes you can fix something by just turning a knob
    volume is a weapon

    sometimes you can fix something by just toning it down
    too much too fast might overwhelm 'em

    sometimes you can fix something by just giving a gift
    mollify the opposition

    sometimes you can fix something by just taking it back
    ya don't wanna spoil 'em

    sometimes you can fix something by just playing dumb
    try to get off with a warning

    sometimes you can fix something by just being sharp
    stall with a brilliant explanation

    sometimes you can fix something by just going to church
    maybe God will pay attention
    Refrain

    sometimes you can fix something by just being a prick
    winning by intimidation

    sometimes you can fix something by just lifting your skirt
    it's the ultimate distraction

    V
    i poke button
    i want action
    let's hear some gears and see some smoke

    no dilly-dally
    move your heiny
    this is the age of "go for broke"

    Refrain
    sometimes you can fix something by just kissing some ass
    if you don't mind humiliation

    sometimes you can fix something by just smoking a pipe
    academic contemplation

    V2
    so pathetic no mechanic
    no steady eye, no magic touch

    no screwdriver
    ball peen hammer
    mr. fix-it's gone to lunch

    Extension 1
    not personal?
    yeah it's personal..
    what did i ever do to you?

    no crap from
    contraptions
    just do what i tell you to do

    Refrain x 2
    sometimes you can fix something by just blaming your mom
    everybody loves a victim

    sometimes you can fix something by just cracking a joke
    humor is greasy lubrication

    sometimes you can fix something by just cooking the books
    wealth is all about perception

    sometimes you can fix something by just smoking a joint
    stoner free association

    Solo

    V3
    broke down, lifeless
    junkyard worthless
    no tweezer jesus in the house

    so desperate
    so dependent
    pay any price to dope it out

    Extension2
    i want genius
    i wanna suss
    the perfect kluge, the devil glitch

    oh, hosanna
    socket messiah
    the only jesus worth a shit

    sometimes you can fix something by not going to church
    I've met too many evil Christians

    sometimes you can fix something by just being against being against the establishment of the church
    antidisestablishmentarianism

    sometimes you can fix something by just suing the son of a bitch
    tie 'em up in litigation

    sometimes you can fix something by just going home
    maybe the answer's back in Cleveland

    sometimes you can fix something by hot-wiring the fuse
    tho you may risk electrocution

    sometimes you can fix something with just a better glue
    high coefficient of adhesion

    sometimes you can fix something by just paying 'em off
    then get on with what you're doing

    sometimes you can fix something by not being home
    avoid unwanted solicitations

    sometimes you can fix something by just having the stones
    if you can't get no satisfaction

    sometimes you can fix something by just listening to The Who
    sing "my my gen gen gen er a tion"

    sometimes you can't fix something by just playing pinball
    tho Tommy's such a stupid album

    sometimes you can fix something by just speaking your mind
    that right is in the constitution

    sometimes you can fix something by just biting your tongue
    they say silence is golden

    sometimes you can fix something by just writing a book
    go on talk shows 'round the nation

    sometimes you can fix something by just reading a book
    turn off that goddam television

    sometimes you can fix something by just having a snack
    hunger wrecks your concentration

    Sometimes you can fix something by just killing the joke
    Yes that’s a banana, and no not glad to see ya

    Sometimes you can fix something by just checking it out
    Check it out check it out check it out

    Sometimes you can fix something by just paying the rent
    Avoid the trauma of eviction

    Sometimes you can fix something by just remembering that something needs fixing
    A Post-It note or string ‘round your finger

    Sometimes you can fix something by just using a GPS
    If you can stand ‘lectronic nagging

    Sometimes you can fix something by just going to the beach
    But please don’t talk to the lifeguard

    Sometimes you can fix something by just hitting the slopes
    Otherwise…what’s the point of winter?

    Sometimes you can fix something by just shaving your legs
    A small concession to beauty

    Sometimes you can fix something by just not shaving your legs
    Revolt against the myth of beauty

    Sometimes you can fix something by just watching the skies
    Look out for alien invaders

    Sometimes you can fix something by just playing alien invaders
    Retro arcade games are groovy

    Sometimes you can fix something with please and thank you
    Being polite ain’t gonna kill ya

    Sometimes you can fix something by just doin’ the right thing
    It will make you feel better

    Sometimes you can fix something by just expecting respect
    I don’t just want it, I demand it.

    Sometimes you can fix something by just betting everything ya got
    Got to be in it to win it

    Sometimes you can fix something by just counting your blessings
    Tho you’ll still be a cynic.

    8 couplets contributed by Chris Bradley:

    sometimes you can fix something by just walking away
    leave it for investigation

    sometimes you can fix something by just tiring it
    soak it up and feel exhaustion

    sometimes you can fix something by just going around
    stay clear of limitations

    sometimes you can fix something by just closing your eyes
    just meditation

    sometimes you can fix something by just going to town
    go around forcing jugulaton

    sometimes you can fix something by just going to hell
    bitch for can fuck shim megalation

    sometimes you can fix something by just filling a void
    everyone needs some validation

    sometimes you can fix something by just drinking a beer
    to make the most of fermentation

    42 couplets contributed by John Nicholas and Brad Johnson:

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Jacking up your car

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Taking it too far

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Eating a Klondike bar

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Counting to ten

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Sniffing your fingers

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Then sniffing them again

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Where have they been?

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Wonder where they've been

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Wearing a different hat

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Petting your cat

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    not doing that

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Don’t do that

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You won’t like what happens next

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Don’t do that

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    You won't like what happens next

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Tearing it apart

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Speaking from the heart

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Starting from the start

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Wearing fancy clothes

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Powdering your nose

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Speaking clever prose

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    To be or not to be

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Looking at yourself

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Making silly faces

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Changing your perspective

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Giving a second glance

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Doing a safety dance

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Put a chicken in a trance

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Staying out of sight

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Fastening your safety belt

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Taking the first flight

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Filling it with fuel

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    And controlling it's combustion

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Calling the Dayman AHH AHHH AHH

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Fighter of the Nightman AHH AHHH AHHH

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    By making a Rum Ham

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Rum Ham Rum Ham

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Yummy Yummy

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Rum Ham

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Rum Ham Rum Ham

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Yummy Yummy

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Rum Ham

    17 couplets contributed by DUTCH BABIES:

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Listening to Nirvana, or maybe moving to Florida

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Bringing back the scientist, or quite likely climbing Mt. Everest

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Justifiable homicide, a page from the Little Book of Mormon

    Sometimes you can fix something
    Like a thoroughbred racehorse, you can win money, his name is Secretariat

    Sometimes you can fix something
    With silver bullets and werewolves, a solid shiny nugget – the Cult of Accountability

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Tossing it all in the well 2 hell, nothing ever comes back from there to tell

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    The hardest way possible, this is called waterproof mascara

    Sometimes you can fix something
    With candy and flowers, I love you, yes I do – swoon

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Declaring there’s no problem, Hey, look, I’m moving away from failure

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Smiling hugs – How you been?, good to see you – so good

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Wearing mascara, don’t let that guy-liner scare you

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Dropping trou, dance around with no pants

    Sometimes you can fix something
    With chocolate and flowers, I love you, yes I do

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Declaring there’s no problem, everything’s perfect today

    Sometimes you can fix something by
    Moving on from failure, Midas Touch on the run

    Sometimes you can fix something
    With a fishtail parka, 18 below zero today

    Sometimes you can fix something
    With a short text message stating the facts, who, what, where and why

    19 couplets contributed by Rebecca Turner:

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a cat
    The soft fur is relaxing

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a goat
    Though he might eat your shoelaces

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting an owl
    Get some wiseness by osmosis

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a dog
    (beat) Like petting god, but backwards

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a gnu
    They like to start things very quietly

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a fox
    They are totally fantastic

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a horse
    You might just see a different color

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a cow
    Maybe he'll give you a good milkshake

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting some swine
    Just keep a tight grip on your pearls

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a snake
    They can help you smooth it over

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a bee
    She might sting some sense into you

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting an ant
    pet ant pet ant pet ant pet ant

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a sloth
    The view from upside-down's inspiring

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a schmoo
    Fry it up, it tastes like chicken

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a whale
    Their size will put it in perspective

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a moose.
    And share a healthy meal of berries

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a clam.
    Turns out you didn't need that finger

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a quail.
    Don't get between it and Dick Cheney.

    Sometimes you can fix something by just petting a flea.
    Or squash it and a cat will thank you.

    11 couplets contributed by Mike iLL:

    Sometimes ya can fix something by removing the melody
    So no one notices you're tone deaf

    Sometimes ya can fix something by ignoring the rhyme scheme
    So you can focus on the substance

    Sometimes ya can fix something by making up the words as ya go
    So you can sound rather hesitant

    Sometimes you can fix something by getting little girls dressed in the morning
    So you can go out to the craft store

    Sometimes you can fix something by making them record something
    "Can you put my shoes on me, Daddy?" Of course, darling.

    Sometimes you can fix something by asking the older one to say something (say something)
    And then she's shy

    Sometimes ya can fix something by pressing the stop button
    And saying, "Rinah, would you please say something?"

    Sometimes you can fix something by letting the dog out in the backyard
    So he can poop and pee in the morning

    Sometimes ya can fix something by waking up early enough
    To have a little bit of down time.

    Sometimes you can fix something by staying up late enough
    To make up something that is a meaningless rhyme or a crime

    Oh Gosh, I'm stuck in the rhyme circle of meaninglessness
    Noooooooo! Stop!



    8 couplets contributed by Maiku:

    Sometimes you can fix something by letting it all out,
    That's what I love from George Rhubarb

    Sometimes you can fix something by taking a walk in the park,
    And turn off the television

    Sometimes you can fix something by making a fool of yourself,
    And lose all your inhibitions

    Sometimes you can fix something by losing your faith,
    All wars are based on religions

    Sometimes you can fix something by just going out and party,
    As long as you don't do something criminal

    Sometimes you can fix something by overthrowing Prop 8,
    Denying happiness to some is un-Constitutional

    Sometimes you can fix something by not following song structure,
    "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" was a great show, Rhubarb was awesome it should never have been taken off the air

    Sometimes you can fix something by keeping your mouth shut,
    " "

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